A Child Loaned

This is a beautiful poem sent to me by one of my friends,  very close to my heart, and I found this so apt at this moment of my life, that I am posting on my blog, I am not only inspired but also filled with gratitude for the privilege I had in taking care of my son for seven years of his life. I am thankful to my friend for her concern, thoughtfulness and above all for being a mirror for me. I continue my journey with gratitude.

A Child Loaned

I'll lend you for a little time

A child of Mine," He said,

"For you to love the while he lives,

And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years

Or twenty-two or three,

But will you, till I call him back,

Take care of him for Me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you,

And should his stay be brief,

You'll have his lovely memories

As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,

Since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught down there

I want this child to learn.

I've looked this wide world over

In My search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,

I have selected you;

Now will you give him all your love,

Not think the labor vain,

Nor hate Me when I come to call

And take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say,

"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,

For all the joy Thy child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known,

Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him

Much sooner than we planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes

And try to understand.

~ Edgar A. Guest

Have a grateful day !

A Tribute To Our Son

The journey of our son Mario Emmanuel came to a close on 2nd January, 2011. After a month long suffering, he died of pneumonia. As parents, we did our best to save our child and we did not succeed and feel disappointed and defeated. Yet at the same time we also believe that God had a purpose for our child. He gifted him to us for 7 years, and we are happy for all the joy Emmanuel brought into the family. We believe that in a short span of time, he stole hearts and continues to live in our lives.

I wrote this tribute to my son and wanted to share it with you. As I continue to grieve, I will also share with you in the days ahead, the process of his death during which we learned many lessons. 

Emmanuel, thank you for entering my life, for choosing me to be your mom. I loved you with all my heart; you brought so much joy into my life. You became so much a part of me, that I did everything in my life keeping you in mind. I never thought that your life could come to an end so soon.

I am grateful that I could be with you until the end of your journey. How could I let you suffer alone? I could never leave you alone anywhere, for I know that you needed me by your side. I always ensured that I was beside you in a new place, whether it was  a school, or a church or a function or visiting friends.

Today, I am lost without you. There is so much of emptiness and a deep void. I feel as if a part of me has died. I am not sure how life is going to be in your absence, for I am too shocked and out of balance. I am still struggling to believe that you are no more. Even though my mind has agreed,  my body is not cooperating at the moment. Perhaps, it's asking for more time, and I am giving it that space and rest.

But sweet child of mine, I look back with gratitude for the last 7 years of my life, and I feel that you have lived a perfect and full life. You were so full of life. Music and dance was so much part of your life. You had a way of attracting a lot of love and cheer. Your warm smile invited everyone into the house, and your unpredictable behavior took everyone by surprise. You were ready to welcome people, make them feel at home, and show your hospitality in your own way, that lingered on…... Hugs, kisses and shaking hands, were common ways you showed your love.  You never spoke a sentence, but you communicated excellently in your own sweet way, building relationships by your simplicity and love.

Emmanuel, you challenged me to think differently. You enabled and empowered me to define love in a new way. You were the angel of my life. Your smile melted all of my worries and sorrows.

Rest in peace, dear angel - you will always be loved and missed.

All my love,

Your Mum

You are a Miracle

Every time I take my son Emmanuel out for a function or a social gathering, he becomes the topic of discussion. Many people feel that I must do something for him. In their eagerness to help me, they advise  me to take him to a good doctor, or take for some healing service, or find some alternative medicine, so that he will be like any other child.  These people are good, they want to help me, but they are ignorant on issues related to a Down syndrome child. Earlier I used to get annoyed with their advice and suggestions, but gradually I have learnt to accept all types of people in my life.

The other day, one of my sister's friends saw Emmanuel and started advising me immediately to take him for a prayer meeting, as the 'brother' who prays there is very powerful, and Emmanuel will be fine. She hinted that I must have faith and go with the expectation of seeing a miracle and my son will be transformed.

I listened to her patiently and  when she stopped speaking I told her that for me my son is a miracle, and he is one of the greatest miracles of my life, I am not against prayer meetings or any preacher and I don’t mind going for prayer. But I do not believe that miracle has to be always associated with something sensational and spectacular.

If one has faith, then every day is a miracle in life, I believe that I am unique, special and irrepeatable in history, that enables me to see myself as a miracle of life, and I want to say the same to every one who encounters me in this world.  My two children are a miracle to me, as I watch them grow beautifully, I am filled with awe and wonder and thank God a million times for blessing me with these kids, for I have learnt so much from them, and I continue to learn. Believe in yourself, there is infinite power within you, and Believe that You are a Miracle today

“There are two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

Be Happy !

Marriage Anniversary

Eleven years have passed by since my marriage. Time just flies. When I look back, there is so much to share. Marriage has transformed me and has given me a new definition of who I am, and it has made me sensitive, humane, courageous and responsible. Marriage brings in problems in perceptions of how one views oneself, life, God and others – and it becomes a challenge in accepting another person in our life who is very different from us, in every way.

Living together provides an opportunity to look at the weaknesses and limitations of our spouses, demanding us to accept and accommodate ourselves in the new situation in order to give a chance for the marriage to succeed.  

My experience says that only a happy person can be happy in marriage, as happiness is a choice and a decision one makes in life. I have come across inspiring persons who were happy as a spinsters and now continue to remain happy even after marriage. It's not that they are lucky. When we look at their lives, they are faced with enough and more challenges. They are happy because they have had made a decision to be happy,  no matter what happens in life.

Today I am thankful to God for the last eleven years of our married life, and all that marriage has brought in, a combination of joys, sorrows, sickness, health and above all learnings which has made me not only tough but also tender Marriage has also brought in beautiful relationships, deepened my faith in God and has taught me to enjoy the journey.

Today I am thankful for all the persons in my life who have accompanied me, my parents who brought me up and gave me space to grow, my brothers and sisters from whom I learnt the joy of sharing and caring in a large family, my husband and his family for their support while I worked, my friends for being my inspiration and strength.

Today I celebrate the joy of journeying together, sharing what I have received with love and gratitude.

May you be Blessed today!

 

My Gift Of Faith

The last few days have been hectic, and tiring. It was also a little tense as my husband David was taken for an x-ray, to check whether his right leg was set. On the basis of the x-ray the doctor had to declare whether David can put weight on his leg. Trusting in the Lord, the x-ray was taken. The doctor and the physiotherapist, suggested that David use a walker, and walk with one leg. David was anxious about walking with one leg, but with the help of the physiotherapist, he was taught how to place his leg, and move around the house. It will take another three weeks, before he starts walking on his own. I am trusting in God, that David will be completely healed and that he and I will be able to face all things through our faith.

Today I am thankful for the gift of faith in my life, which has been instilled by my parents right from the time, when I was a small child, they always taught me to trust in God, and believe that I am God's Child and I have been given everything that I require to face the challenges of life.

It is a very important conditioning, and I am willing to remain with this as it has empowered me in many ways. Whenever I am down and feeling low, I remind myself that my life is connected to the very Source of Life. Being connected to God makes me feel secure within myself, and gives me a great comfort to know that I am divinely protected, and divinely guided in everything that I do. Divine love surrounds me, enfolds me and enwraps me and I go forth in peace.

I pray for all those who feel low and insecure that they too may experience Divine love and Divine protection.

Affirm yourself today and say:

I am God’s Child today, and I am divinely guided

I am Divinely protected

Divine love surrounds me, enfolds me and enwraps me

I go forth in peace

All is well in my life today

Be happy & blessed today!

Forgiveness – The Best Gift

It been more than one and half months, that David my husband is at home, and totally dependent on me, and it makes him feel very vulnerable, as he needs one person all the time with him, I see him struggle, as he was a very active person, and he does not rest even when he is ill. Now a fracture of his knee, he is forced to take  complete bed rest. He gets impatient, restless and anxious, as he is not supposed to walk, so he is counting days when the doctor will ask him to place his leg down, which will take another week.

As for me responding to him, and the kids and manage the kitchen and also help my husband with his paper work is quite demanding, while I strive for balance, I am challenged by thoughts of negative experiences, hurts and wounded situations, which gives rise to feelings of anger, revenge, hatred and unforgiveness.

The easiest thing to do is use this opportunity to give back what I have received from my husband and tell him how wrong he was, and settle the scores, as he is very vulnerable. But I do have a choice, wherein I could be kind and forgive everything, and move on, and I chose to forgive, once I made a decision in my mind,  my feelings changed, and there was only compassion that enabled me to see from the other side and understand.

I realize the best gift one can give especially to your spouse is the gift of forgiveness, living together is a challenge, and successful relationships are those, wherein there is not only love but also  forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a part of emotional and spiritual evolution.   When we fight off forgiveness we tend to lock ourselves in an emotional prison with the person we refuse to forgive.  Even holding on to simple anger and grudge will only hurt the one who is holding on to it.

When you forgive and move on, you are releasing yourself from negative holds of the past and freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness.

Today I make a choice to forgive everyday and renew my commitment to love, accept and forgive at all times.

Happy Birthday to my Darling Daughter

Today my heart is rejoicing as my daughter celebrates her 9^th birthday, I recall with gratitude the last 8 years that was filled with so much love, laughter and fun.  I also thank God and all those wonderful persons in my life who accompanied me in my journey into motherhood, and continue to remain a great source of strength to me. Here’s  a small note for my lovely daughter.

My Darling Daughter Maria Dorothy,

I am so happy to have you in my life, truly you are God’s gift to me, and you will always remain my first miracle of life that I held in my arms, even though, some times, your brother takes more attention from me, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Forgive me for the times, I have unconsciously given a little more of my time to your brother who has special needs.

On your birthday, I want you to know how special you are to me, and indeed the most beautiful, lovable and adorable person in my life, I want to wish you a very happy, joyous, and a meaningful birthday to you. May the Lord bless you, guard and guide you al l through your life.

With lots and lots of love and kisses from your mom,

“A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous...full of beauty and forever beautiful...loving and caring and truly amazing. “  Deanna Beisser