It been more than one and half months, that David my husband is at home, and totally dependent on me, and it makes him feel very vulnerable, as he needs one person all the time with him, I see him struggle, as he was a very active person, and he does not rest even when he is ill. Now a fracture of his knee, he is forced to take complete bed rest. He gets impatient, restless and anxious, as he is not supposed to walk, so he is counting days when the doctor will ask him to place his leg down, which will take another week.
As for me responding to him, and the kids and manage the kitchen and also help my husband with his paper work is quite demanding, while I strive for balance, I am challenged by thoughts of negative experiences, hurts and wounded situations, which gives rise to feelings of anger, revenge, hatred and unforgiveness.
The easiest thing to do is use this opportunity to give back what I have received from my husband and tell him how wrong he was, and settle the scores, as he is very vulnerable. But I do have a choice, wherein I could be kind and forgive everything, and move on, and I chose to forgive, once I made a decision in my mind, my feelings changed, and there was only compassion that enabled me to see from the other side and understand.
I realize the best gift one can give especially to your spouse is the gift of forgiveness, living together is a challenge, and successful relationships are those, wherein there is not only love but also forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a part of emotional and spiritual evolution. When we fight off forgiveness we tend to lock ourselves in an emotional prison with the person we refuse to forgive. Even holding on to simple anger and grudge will only hurt the one who is holding on to it.
When you forgive and move on, you are releasing yourself from negative holds of the past and freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness.
Today I make a choice to forgive everyday and renew my commitment to love, accept and forgive at all times.