About the Author

Hello Friends!

Welcome to my World:)

As I journey with gratitude, reliving my life, sharing my experiences of my past, present continuous - towards  unfolding of life  itself in finding  newer aspects of my personality that is  still in process...

I love this quote of  Oprah  Winfrey who says, "I don't want to make a mark or have a legacy..... 

I want to fulfill the highest, truest expression of myself as a human being. I want to fulfill the promise that the creator dreamed when he dreamed the cells that made up me..

I’m Genevive Angela  a native of Secunderabad, Telangana, India.  I trace my roots from my ancestors who migrated from Sindaduraipetai (Tamil Nadu India) during the World War II.  Working in the Tamil Nadu armed forces, my grandfather served a particular regiment, which brought them back to Secunderabad in the 1914 and from then on they stayed back and made Hyderabad their hometown.

They spoke Tamil and converted to Christianity, thus mixing both Tamil customs and traditions with Christian concepts.  I have not seen my grand fathers from both my mothers and my father’s side, but seen both the grandmothers as a child, who lived with us till the ripe old age and passed away.They were looked after well till the end of their lives - they were a huge support to my mother as she had nine of us to take care and my grandmother was a great help to mom in nurturing us and was my mother's strength, as my dad worked very hard and some days he would work even at night. 

My parents were married at a young age, my mother was only 15 and my father was 25.  My father Viaguladass worked for sailing club, which was run by the Britishers. Those days it was considered very prestigious to work for the British, and my father spent all his life time working in this private sector. My mother Rose Mary was a home maker. She managed extremely well with the large family, even though she came from a family of only two members. She and her older brother who later on got married and moved away to settle in Aurangabad, Maharashtra with seven children.

“The Sacredness of life is gift; Find the joy in your journey, because it is a way to say thank you in life” -April Peerless-

My mother Rosemary was very accommodating and generous in taking the additional responsibilities of three grandmothers and my uncle’s family. I grew up in the family of 9 children and two grand mothers (my mom’s mother and my dad’s mother) and there was also my grandmother’s older sister with us. There were 5 brothers who were older to me, and two sisters older to me and one sister younger to me. We lived in Gunrock, Trimulgherry,  we attended church services at to Holy Family Parish Church.

We were all baptized in the Roman Catholic Church and named after the saints, by the Sisters of Charity of the congregation of Bartholomea Vincenza.  The sisters taught catechism and all us attended church regularly, and brought up in catholic faith and tradition.   All nine of us as children studied in Holy Family School, run by the sisters of Charity in our early childhood.  Later on my brothers were moved to the boy’s school nearby.

Early Years of My Life....

I do not remember much of my childhood except that I enjoyed playing shuttle and caroms with the neighboring kids, watched movies, loved writing songs in diaries and was fond of singing. I used to collect my favorite songs from Tamil and Hindi movies. As a family we have a small transistor and we would listen to the radio where songs were played  on request.

Every Wednesday was Binaca Geeth Mala and all the children would listen to the Radio Jockey Ameen Sayani who had a great voice and very popular who used to entertain the listeners with jokes and play some lovely popular numbers on their play list. I am glad I found some more information on wikipedia, for further information you can visit this link.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ameen_Sayani.  There was another Radio anchor who was very popular by name Tabasum who was full of humor and used to interview celebrities on All India Radio and was known to be a child artist. Both Ameen Sayani and Tabusum were very famous and it was joy listening to them.

“Memories are timeless treasures of the heart”

Everyday morning we used to listen to Radio Ceylon where English pop songs were played by the Radio Jockey who used to be full of energy and vibrant in his compering. All India Radio used to also play English numbers in the evening hours from the local radio station.

From Ist standard till class V   I was happy to go to school and made friends in school and have memories of my mother bringing lunch for all of us in the school. There was a huge neem tree where she used to make us (me and my siblings) sit on a mat and serve us lunch. 

I wish we had a cell phone then I would have captured so many experiences in the camera. A big family is like a mini community; despite a small kitchen and a two rooms house there was a big heart and a generous attitude of my parents who could accommodate whoever came home. My mother used to cook for all of us eight children (minus my elder sister who joined convent early in life) with two elderly grandmothers and every summer we had my uncle’s seven children who used to stay with their grandmother but used to come to our house for meals.

My mother never ever complained of cooking for so many. Added to all this my cousin who was a nurse used to visit us on Sunday’s and holidays. My eldest first cousin would come to the city for holidays from Bihar and every day he would come home and stay the entire days of his holiday with us. When I recall all these things I often wonder how my mother could be so generous. I cook only for three persons every day and if another two or three come for a meal I get stressed in the kitchen J I think when we love people we don’t really get tired of doing good. I am blessed to have such generous parents who had their priorities right and always valued people more than things.

“The more we value things, the less we value ourselves” Bruce Lee

Growing up Years!

I was putting on weight as I reached the high school; I felt unhappy and embarrassed when I heard comments from those around me about my height, color of my skin and weight. This impacted my self concept and influenced my confidence level.  I never like math and science and never scored in these subjects. I was interested in playing games and enjoyed singing and longed for games period. 

I loved cycling and was restricted by my mother as she feared I might hurt myself. In our days they used to rent cycle for 25 paise for an hour.  I used to rent the cycle along with my neighboring friends and we used to cycle in and around neighborhood. Even though we were a large family, we never went to bed hungry and there was always enough and a little more to share with extended families.

The last year of the school was frightening. I was very nervous and anxious as I found difficulty with Maths and Science. When the final exams were announced in summer, my mother accompanied me to school as I was writing my 10th standard finals. I recall writing all the papers and fell sick for two papers with severe vomiting, nausea and   fever so skipped two papers, which had to be repeated again. In the process I missed out on a year and by then by younger sister joined and she cleared in first attempt.

On account of which I was constantly compared with her intelligence which shattered my self concept and constant bombardment that I am not meant for higher education from my family environment affected me; at the same time it pushed me  to work harder and focus on continuing education. It was very tough as colleges would never admit students with lower percentage of marks. By then my elder sister who joined the convent fell sick and died at a very young age of 26.

Our family felt her absence. I was almost giving up on continuing education. when I met one of my nun sister's batch mate by name Sr Loretta from the Sister's of Charity Congregation who came into my life like an Angel of Light and encouraged and motivated me to continue education. I owe a lot to her and whatever I am today in my life in terms of education, she has been my strength and hope for she went an extra mile in motivating me to trust in the Divine and also believe in myself. She helped me choose the subjects and with her guidance I took History, Economics and Civics.

I found History and Economics tough but thanks to the Sisters who were constantly encouraging me and motivating me and believing in my capacity. I remember Sr Joshina who was a junior to my sister and she found time to talk to me whenever she met me at college. There were another sister by name Sr Olivia who was very prayerful and had a strong faith in God and she would encourage me to pray and help me identify the right books for doing my reference work as she was in charge of the library.  

When I look back I see how everything worked out in my life and enabled me to take the path which was leading me towards the purpose of my existence. I feel so grateful for different persons who come into your life to lighten and brighten your path.  This was the turning point in my life as she guided me and helped me connect to the right sources for information and knowledge that helped me complete my Intermediate Board Exam and this time I scored very well and the results boosted my confidence and lead me to move on to another step in my education. 

My dad was continuing to work even after his retirement and so I was not very confident whether he could afford me to send me to a degree college. But when he saw my results of the intermediate and the encouragement from the Nuns he consented and assured me of his support to complete my Graduation from a prestigious college, St Francis Degree College for Women, Hyderabad.

My life changed and it was as if I have developed  wings to fly; I attended college, studied, History, Public Administration and Political Science. I made very good friends here,  a small group of 4 students, and sometimes two more would join us. The library was my favorite and I spent a lot of time in the library and occasionally in the canteen too with friends. I am grateful to my mother who packed lunch every day for me, and while I studied degree I also learnt to type- I attended the type writing institute completed lower degree with 40 words per minute and regularly practiced higher degree typing speed which was 80 words per minute... I enjoyed learning to type and it became a biggest strength later on as I worked in different places, people noticed that my fingers moved faster on the system.

My friends were very loving and we shared our lunches and appreciated our moms for their creativity in packing every day different types of lunch. We worked hard and did all the assignments and helped one another complete the assignments and ensured that all of us submitted it on time. We traveled by public transport buses and luckily for us we had our St Francis Ladies special bus both in the morning and in the evening, which used to drop us right near our college gate.

Every time we completed a difficult assignment we used to go out together as a group and watch Hindi movies and have plenty of fun; we were also part of the NSS (National Service Scheme) in college and every year we used to have some issue to work with. I remember myself and two more friends being part of the Literacy Programme in the adjacent slum which was located a little away from our college. We  used to go every Saturday and teach the children, help them with their home work and also teach them songs and dances.

We had opportunities to go out for camps and participate in the State and District programmes related to Safe Environment wherein we planted trees in the Osmania University campus and leveled the ground for playing cricket. We were also part of the Rural Reconstruction programme wherein we participated in laying roads along with workers in Warangal District.

Every year the college conducted retreats for the Catholic Students and being a catholic I attended all the retreats conducted in the college for 3 years. I made some friends who had deep faith in God, organised bible classes and prayer meetings. I was part of this group that helped me strengthen my faith in God and inspired me to read the bible and reflect and understand the meaning.

Time just flies and by the time we started loving college and being with friends, it was time to depart, we completed our graduation and as friends we were happy to be together for the graduation ceremony in our college where we were awarded our certificates and this day was a memorable day for us; as we were all dressed in white saris which was the dress code for students and we eagerly waited for the programme to end so that we can meet for the last time, so we decided to go for the industrial exhibition which was popular those days.

We took our certificates and went for some fun at this industrial exhibition, we sat in the giant wheel holding one another tightly due to fear as it was the first and the last time I sat in this wheel; we went around window shopping and ate samosa chaat and had a lot of fun and took one another's contact address and promised to stay in touch with one another. Now once again time to make decisions whether to continue education or take up job. My dad was getting sick and stopped working and was at home now, with BP and Diabetic due to stress of traveling long distance for work and returning late in the night.

When I found my dad struggling to make ends meet, and cycling everyday to work, in order to help us have a decent life. Though I had my brothers and two sisters working still it was not easy for my dad. By then two of my brothers married and both my sister in laws were home makers and so it was challenging for my dad who still took the total responsibility of the family. It is in this context that I decided to take up work in a convent school, wherein I worked as a lab assistant and also a substitute teacher.

I walked almost 2 kms from my place of work every day to give home tuition for 3 kids from the same school, where I worked in the evening hours. While returning from my home tuition I would visit the Government College of music and dance to learn Hindustani vocal 3 days in a week, which was fun for me and I enjoyed learning to sing for two years in the college. I managed to help myself independently and completed a Master's in History and also  supported my dad. 

While  working in the school, I involved myself in the local parish, wherein I sang in the choir, made friends, and took part in various activities in the church. Interacting with some of my friends I got close to one of the girls who sang in the choir. We shared about our lives, and our passion to serve and live a life of purpose. My friend was joining the Salesians ( a congregation of sisters who worked with youth and focus was on Education) in Chennai. Influenced by her I wanted to understand their life and service. 

Through her support I tried to experiment by staying in a hostel at Chennai and observed the life style of the nuns. In this process I joined prayer groups attended prayer meetings, bible conventions, listened to various preachers and also made a lot of new friends. I worked there for a couple of years and somehow I was not convinced and I wanted to be true to myself, and so preferred to give up the idea of joining a convent.  I had very good friends who were generous and kind to take me around and show different groups of religious responding to various other issues. I made a decision to come back to Hyderabad and look for alternatives. My parents were happy that I was back home, but filled with faith and optimism - moving away from the family for a couple of years changed my perspectives leading me to be grateful for everything in life which otherwise I had taken for granted.

Journey in faith!

Me and our family

I moved on explored various job options on priority and took up job in a pharmaceutical company as a clerk cum typist for a year and moved on to work in another Computer firm. I found my way to work in a Catholic Institution that focused on Community Health and Holistic health called CHAI (Catholic Health Association of India).  I worked for almost 13 and half years in this organization,  in various capacities beginning from front office and later on moved to Pastoral Care that focused  on  Psycho Spiritual Dimension to Health - which gave me opportunity to travel for training's and capacity building programmes on Pastoral Care, Pastoral Counseling and Clinical Pastoral Training's. I am grateful to Dr John Kalayil who was my mentor and taught me so much as I assisted him in all the programmes of the Pastoral Care Department. 

My father  passed away and my mother was worried about me; and constantly prayed for me so that I would settle down in marriage and she could be free from responsibility. Staying single was not acceptable in our community and there would be reminders that we either chose a convent life or get married. Since Convent and being single was ruled out of my life, the only option at that point of time was to get married. Now situation has changed I see so many women moving ahead in career and choosing to remain single and even going for adoptions of children without marriage. In our culture single life can never be an option even if you are educated and financially independent. It was also risky to stay alone unless you have a good support system to stand by you, otherwise its a challenge. 

My mother was getting old, insecure as she had no pension, we lived in our own house which was on my mothers name, but the house did not generate money for her to live independently.  Se had to be dependent on her children. As long as I was with her we managed as I worked and was single. All the other siblings  tried helping her but they had their own families to take care. These experiences taught me to empower myself and always be financially independent - I made a decision as a women I will work and utilize my capacities to be independent and will never stop learning. So I enrolled myself to do another Post graduation programme in Sociology. Wile my mother's prayers were answered, as she kept on persistently looking out matches and talking to every person who came to meet her. My elder sister too tried hard visiting marriage bureaus's and finally through one of my colleague working with me, arranged this proposal and that's how I was married in the year 1999.

From a Daughter to a Daughter in law

Another phase of my life - married into a joint family with mother in law, brother in law and a sister in law. It took a whole year for me to adjust into this family. I learnt to speak Telugu as I found my in laws talking Telugu and I did not know a word of Telugu. I spoke in Hindi with my husband David as he was an ex serviceman from the army:) I learnt to cook as I was not a great cook, my mother was a smart cook and she knew how to cook without wasting and found creative ways to prepare recipes even from leftover food. I was supported very well in this family and that's how I could complete MA Sociology and thanks to my elder brother for sponsoring me with the fees. I continued to work in CHAI and was happy. I only used to feel bad for my mom as she became alone in the house  and so along with other siblings I suggested her to move to one of the brother;s house so that she doesn't have to be alone especially with health issues, that way she found her way to stay at one of my brother's house.

Becoming a Mother

I  was blessed with a child. We named her Maria Dorothy, who was a bundle of joy to our family.

Maria Dorothy our  daughter brought us so much joy to me and David ;  we loved watching her grow, thanks to the joint family system I was in; I could leave her with my mother in law and sister in law to look after her till I returned in the evening after work. They gave her so much love and affection that she never cried when I bid her goodbye to work. She had enough and more people to pamper and spoil her.

Maria Dorothy our daughter

David helped me in all the work that I did at home- he was ready to wash the baby clothes, change diapers and bring home all the groceries. David’s younger brother Vijay was very fond of her and used to give her rides in his auto and the moment Dorothy sees she would jump for joy. Dorothy’s aunt i.e. David sister was very particular about Dorothy’s diet and she would make small little dresses, pick up colorful materials to design and stitch for her.

Then I joined another voluntary sector that worked with street children, addressed issues of child labour and focused on child rights.  I was happy to serve in this place for another 7 years and got involved in all the other issues related to positive discipline, HIV& AIDS, Domestic Violence etc that organization took up as part of being relevant.

Challenging years of my life!

Then came my second child Mario Emmanuel - a Down syndrome child who shook my world and challenged me in so many ways. I learnt a lot about managing a special child who had delayed speech and was prone for respiratory issues.

My husband David had his mother to support as his father left them at a young age, he was responsible for settling his younger sibling’s brother and a sister. So he did love our child, but was not able to give as much time as required.

Emmanuel needed a lot of time for everything and it was tough for me - added to all this is that my in laws never understood our child's issues (being a male child).  I don't blame them as they were not aware of these issues of special kids. They felt that I was making a lot of fuss, when I took him for an IQ assessment, opted for special schools (as his language was delayed) he was on the border line as far as IQ is concerned. 

My husband David was very simple and had immense faith in God, so he took him to shrines, fasted, prayed and expected a miracle. I respected his decisions and went along with our kids, but still felt that along with faith one needs to be practical too to see the signs and respond to what is needed to enable and empower him. . Our daughter Maria Dorothy was very fond of him and was very supportive :) and fought with other kids for Emmanuel when they snatched his cycle or any other play articles...

I explored working from home options, did some free lance work and tried to manage my kid by taking personal responsibility to going to school with him, attending the class along with him, so that I can come home and continue to reinforce what was taught.

My Son Mario Emmanuel

Unfortunately I could not continue beyond six months, as my son was very prone for respiratory problems. He found difficult to continue school due to bad weather conditions in Hyderabad at that time in winter was 9 degrees. He fell sick, was hospitalized and finally died after celebrating his 7^th birthday within a month’s time. I am thankful to my family members who stood by me in the hour of crisis and helped me cope with grief.

I must mention that I had very good friends in my life, who were extremely supportive and helped me to deal with whatever problems I faced - they were always there, like angels in disguise.  I am grateful for their presence in my life and its a blessing to have good friends.

“The wound is a place where light enters you” Rumi

Evolving self

I was completely broken and shattered and did not know what to do and mourned for my child. Within 40 days I get a call from one of my old friends asking me to join as a psychological counselor in a university.

I was too sad and depressed to take up a job in a helping profession. My friend encouraged and motivated me to take up this work; reluctantly I took up this work in the university as a part time counselor and gradually moved on to become a full time psychological counselor at the Osmania University, Hyderabad. 

I am also a certified Master Trainer & was a Counseling Supervisor for the Global Funding Programme of Osmania University (GFATM – R 7 – Global funding for AIDS, TB & Malaria) for almost 3 years. 

Dorothy & Emmanuel at Infant Jesus church, Bangalore

I work as a full time psychological counselor at Osmania University, Hyderabad and derive energy from helping youngsters deal with their own issues; part of my work also involves training's, orientation & supervision.

Its more than a decade now 2011 to till date  and there is so much to be thankful for, this place has kept me young at heart as I am surrounded by young people who access the counseling centre. The experience of working in this place is priceless.  I feel blessed to be involved with students and the campus community who have enabled and empowered me  to grow  in  knowledge and understanding of Psychological problems. 

While working in this place I strongly felt that I need to keep learning to be able to work effectively with the youngsters and also be relevant so I enrolled for another Post graduate course in Psychology and completed it by 2013. This place gave me plenty of opportunity to grow as I had opportunity to to be part of a reformation programme which was facilitated by our centre, called Unnati - which means progress and growth, the purpose was to enable the inmates to bring changes in their lives, by reforming themselves and not to return to prison.  This programme helped me understand that change can happen even behind the bars.

Me & Mario Emmanuel

I was happy to be part of this programme and got opportunity to teach the youngsters there who wanted to pursue and continue education. Today our centre works in all the prisons of Telangana, and thanks to Dr Beena for this initiative and her passion in bringing about changes  in the lives of so many inmates.

Its a privilege to be associated with people like who are not just passionate but also have a vision to do the impossible in this world. She is my inspiration and my guide - she has also initiated setting up counseling centers in few more universities and colleges too. She also guides students in their research work. 

I am happy to state that inspired by this place - I registered for a PhD programme in 2018 and with my commitment and dedication and plenty of good people around me. I could complete it this year in the month of June 2023. I am grateful for my Supervisor Prof. P Venkataramana, Prof Ram Shepherd, Dr Beena for her encouragement,  my friends, and my daughter Dorothy who was supportive in helping me to collect the data, and Dr Arvind and Cynthia my colleague and David my husband for being supportive. 

My blog is an expression of gratitude to everything that I have received in my life, free of cost, leading to a happier and fulfilling life.  I want to be grateful to all those persons who have touched my life, and have helped me to take inward journey ….. I am happy and ever evolving to find new aspects of myself and enjoying my journey…..  I share with gratitude…

G Angela