A Child Loaned

This is a beautiful poem sent to me by one of my friends,  very close to my heart, and I found this so apt at this moment of my life, that I am posting on my blog, I am not only inspired but also filled with gratitude for the privilege I had in taking care of my son for seven years of his life. I am thankful to my friend for her concern, thoughtfulness and above all for being a mirror for me. I continue my journey with gratitude.

A Child Loaned

I'll lend you for a little time

A child of Mine," He said,

"For you to love the while he lives,

And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years

Or twenty-two or three,

But will you, till I call him back,

Take care of him for Me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you,

And should his stay be brief,

You'll have his lovely memories

As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,

Since all from earth return,

But there are lessons taught down there

I want this child to learn.

I've looked this wide world over

In My search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,

I have selected you;

Now will you give him all your love,

Not think the labor vain,

Nor hate Me when I come to call

And take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say,

"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,

For all the joy Thy child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known,

Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him

Much sooner than we planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes

And try to understand.

~ Edgar A. Guest

Have a grateful day !

You are a Miracle

Every time I take my son Emmanuel out for a function or a social gathering, he becomes the topic of discussion. Many people feel that I must do something for him. In their eagerness to help me, they advise  me to take him to a good doctor, or take for some healing service, or find some alternative medicine, so that he will be like any other child.  These people are good, they want to help me, but they are ignorant on issues related to a Down syndrome child. Earlier I used to get annoyed with their advice and suggestions, but gradually I have learnt to accept all types of people in my life.

The other day, one of my sister's friends saw Emmanuel and started advising me immediately to take him for a prayer meeting, as the 'brother' who prays there is very powerful, and Emmanuel will be fine. She hinted that I must have faith and go with the expectation of seeing a miracle and my son will be transformed.

I listened to her patiently and  when she stopped speaking I told her that for me my son is a miracle, and he is one of the greatest miracles of my life, I am not against prayer meetings or any preacher and I don’t mind going for prayer. But I do not believe that miracle has to be always associated with something sensational and spectacular.

If one has faith, then every day is a miracle in life, I believe that I am unique, special and irrepeatable in history, that enables me to see myself as a miracle of life, and I want to say the same to every one who encounters me in this world.  My two children are a miracle to me, as I watch them grow beautifully, I am filled with awe and wonder and thank God a million times for blessing me with these kids, for I have learnt so much from them, and I continue to learn. Believe in yourself, there is infinite power within you, and Believe that You are a Miracle today

“There are two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

Be Happy !

This too shall pass ….

Yesterday was All Souls' Day.  I visited the graves of my family members who have died, my mother, my father, my sister and my grand parents. It's an important day for us in the family, where all of us go together to the cemetery. This time I went alone as it was difficult for all of us to go together.

While visiting the graves, I recalled an event exactly  a month ago. A little girl baby was born in our family, she was so beautiful, looked like an angel, but her life on earth was so short, that before I could hold her in my arms and kiss her, she left the earth. It was as if a sweet angel that came for a brief visit to the earth, and had to leave back to where it belonged.

This little girl was born in an emergency as its heart beat dropped and the doctors tried their best to save the child.   When I heard about the baby, I rushed to the hospital, and found the baby on the ventilator, a small little girl appeared as though sleeping peacefully, after which I met Mary, my sister in law, in the post operative ward. The moment she saw me, she broke down, I had no words to communicate, the grief was too much to bear. After a while the nurse brought a small little baby wrapped in a pink towel, and gave her to Mary to hold for some time. 

I can never forget that moment of grief - of a women who carried this same child for nine months, in her womb, and at the end of the term, had to hold a lifeless body of a child in her hands. She wept and wept inconsolably, I did not know what to do, I have never encountered a situation like this, I felt totally lost, and had no words to console. I was too shocked and felt extremely pained, all I could do was to silently stand by and hold her hands.

I am still in the process of coming out of this experience which was too deep. For the first time in my life, I carried a dead baby in my arms to bury – it was too much for me to take, I cried silently and handed over the baby to her father, who buried her.

The time stood still, death is an important reality, I have the experience of my sister who died young, my parents who died, it did affect me to some extent, but this experience of death was too sudden, unexpected that left me numb and shocked.

I have no words to console the mother of the child, who is in grief, it’s painful to see and difficult to handle – I feel helpless and in pain too.  But deep in my heart I believe that God knows what is best, and this too shall pass ……. This little angel who departed, had given me opportunity to look at life at close quarters, and has challenged me with this question - if I were to leave the earth, what would I do now?  I am thinking and relooking at my life? Hopefully answering it in my heart, and making those changes which will improve the quality of my life.

Be a blessing !

 

Celebrating Motherhood

While I helped my sister-in-law with packing and preparing for hospitalization, during her recent pregnancy, my thoughts took me back to my own first pregnancy. It brought back memories of all those lovely people in my life who had been a great source of strength and support, and I thank God for the gift of them in my life. I recall my brother and sister law, Danny and Mary who made me feel at home in their house, as my mom was living with them, I moved to their house to be with my mom. Mary was very kind and looked after me well, taking care of my diet, my health needs, and also she was with me in the hospital when I delivered my first baby girl, who was a miracle in my life.

Despite having their own two girls in school, they reached out to me, which always fills me with gratitude whenever I recall. Another very important and significant person was Dr Evita Fernandez, who inspired me with my very first meeting and interaction at her hospital. I can never forget her; she beautifully accompanied me in my journey into motherhood.

She was not only helped me with my physical health, but also enabled me to look at the faith dimension, an angle that is so very important, and which challenged the core of my own Christian faith. She was a person with beautiful combination of knowledge, wisdom and faith, she taught me to celebrate motherhood. I am glad to have known her, and today I want to pray for her and bless her with the very best in life. Thanks Dr Evita, you shall continue to live in our lives! Thanks for making a difference!