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April 19, 2016

Q– Quick &Quiet

I have chosen 26 tips for married life as my theme for the
A-Z challenge 2016. Today’s word is Quick & Quiet


Today the word that attracts me is Quick and Quiet. In a martial relationship there are moments when we need to be quick and moments we need to be quiet. When we learn this art of being quick to notice small acts of kindness, the little things that normally go unnoticed, then we learn to prevent to take one another for granted.

I have failed many times and could see the impact on the way we communicate with each other and the demands sometimes becomes unreasonable. I have learnt the hard way and still learning. But I realize how important it is keep my eyes open to these small little acts be ready to accept, acknowledge and appreciate immediately.
 
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I have also learnt to be quiet when required, it is not necessary that I have to always keep talking and telling things to David; at times without even saying one word  we have communicated with each other – a smile, laughter, a hug and just holding hands to let one another know we are together. Still at other times when I know that I have been too demanding and hurt his sentiments I stop myself and in quietness realize that it was my mistake and so I quickly apologize.

As long as we are aware of when to be quick and when to be quiet a lot of issues get sorted by itself. I remember the earlier days our marriage. I was quick to judge, quick to blame and quick to jump into conclusion without even trying to find out the reasons for behaviour or for some statement made. Later on I realize how foolish I was; operating from my own frame of reference.
 
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The best thing I feel is that whenever you feel angry, disturbed and stressed, move away quickly from the situation and come to a quiet place which gives you some time to normalize, think, reflect and if possible talk to a close friend and then respond instead of reacting, this will save you from not only hurting but also we don’t realize how words once spoken cannot be retrieved back.

This requires self awareness and practice and will not come naturally; one needs to spend some quiet time alone with self every day, to be able to distress, take a stock of whats happening and continuously keep stay in touch with our feelings, for they are our indicators that will tell us if everything is fine in our relationships.
 Have a nice day J

6 comments:

  1. This is such an insightful observation Angela! Sometimes one needs to move away from unwanted confrontations that will make you sad and sorry later. Similarly better quiet than sorry for hurting words!
    @KalaRavi16 from
    Relax-N-Rave

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    1. I am happy you found this post insightful; moving away worked for me and equipped me to handle in a way that helped me focus on the issue, rather than attacking the person and regret later..

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  2. True. There are many times when you have to bite your tongue than speak up, just to avoid creating an argument or hurting the sentiments of your spouse.

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    1. Thanks shilpa for being here .. .. avoiding argument is difficult, when you have strong views and rigid thinking.. but we all learn, marriage always challenges us to change and transform :)

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  3. The first quote is so beautiful! And yes, it's important to be quick and quiet. I'm working on them, and I guess I'll be fine some day!

    Cheers
    Geets

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    Replies
    1. Nice to know that you liked the quote.. yes we all learn and we will be fine some day :)

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