Today its 5 years since Emmanuel had gone from our lives, leave a vacuum a place that can never be filled by anyone else. Today we as a family attended the mass, and prayed for our son, and then I went to work for few hours; David and Dorothy told me to come directly to the cemetery in the afternoon, so that we can pay homage to our child, light candles and put some flowers with love and gratitude.
Visiting the cemetery is not a joyful experience at all, and for me it’s very depressing as it reminds me of my child who is no more; despite all this I agreed to join them. Today there was also death of an elderly person in our parish; so David rushed for the funeral, leaving us at home.
I believe that Death is an important reminder for me; as it helps me make choices that are life giving and also keeps me grounded that one day I too must leave this earth and what I have done with my life will matter the most.
Today as I feel sad on one side about my son; I am also happy that Emmanuel has now become an experience of faith, hope and courage. Emmanuel will continue to be part of our smiles, kind deeds, whenever we show love, care, concern at each other… he will live in our memory constantly reminding us that earth is not a permanent place for any one… and it’s the small little deeds in life that matters the most.
“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”