May 7, 2009

Believing is Seeing

Playing with toy train
When Emmanuel was 3 months before conception, I was told that he is very weak and may not survive, I carried on my life submitting myself to God’s will – and leaving God to decide, he turned out to be a fighter, and finally when he was born he was very small, dark and thin, I could not believe my eyes that my child could be so frail, and he never cried, the doctors had to slap his back to make him cry, and he cried with a very feeble voice.

Initially I was very scared to even hold him in my arms, and I had to constantly keep observing him, as he never used to cry, when I came home from the hospital, there was no noise, Emmanuel was silent, the neighbors used to ask me whether my child is at home, as they never heard the child cry. He had to be woken up for his feeds, and I used to be very nervous handling him, I could never really sleep, wake up every 4 hours to ensure that he is fed.

At the Parish church
When I took him for immunization, the doctor told me, what a risk I had taken in continuing my pregnancy, knowingly that this may be a special child, and also told me, that these children are very difficult to handle, and they will take their time to reach miles stones, I do not know how those days passed, when he was 3 months old, he put on little weight, he used to look good, but he had a squint eye and his neck was not stable.

Having influenced by Louise Hay I practiced mind conditioners for myself, and I used it on Emmanuel, and it really worked, every morning, I used carry Emmanuel and sing in his ears loudly – saying Emmanuel you are a precious child, I love you, God loves you and He has a special plan for you, come on baby smile and I encouraged my daughter to sing along with me, making my own tunes, this became a ritual, and gradually I saw changes in Emmanuel.
Infant Jesus church at Bangalore with his sister

He started smiling, his squint was gone now, he started looking at me in the eye, his neck became stable, and he started moving to the side, I continued to encourage, sing affirmations loudly, every time he tried to turn, I used to applaud, shout and clap hands, saying Emmanuel come on you can turn, you are turning, very good, smart boy – and my daughter used to watch me getting excited she used to join me in clapping and cheering him, we did this for a month, and lo Emmanuel turned to his side and he started moving upwards, that’s how positive affirmations worked in my life.

Learnt to cycle
Emmanuel even skipped one milestone of crawling, and started walking directly, and for me that was biggest miracle I saw closely, especially after the paediatrician said that he will take time to walk, and it could be 5 years, 10 years or even 15 years. I refused to believe him, and I opened myself to a positive experience, wherein my child walked. I continue to affirm him, and sing affirmations believing that one day he will stand out in the crowd and bear testimony of his journey with me stating how faith and positive affirmations make a world of difference in our lives.

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