I have chosen 26 Tips for a Happy Married Life
as my theme for A-Z April challenge, 2016.
Today
the word is Break away
Getting
married at 35 was a blessing to me, as I was mature enough to understand the
seriousness of living with another person who is unique in every way - background, experience, education, belief,
perception, and even with different goal. David being the eldest had
responsibility of taking care of his family. So from a family of 9 members I
entered into a family of 4 J comparatively a smaller than mine. The advantages were that I was always
supported and my kids and home were taken care because there was always someone
at home. House work was shared and I was happy to be part of an extended
family.
It’s
not always easy to stay in peace in a joint set up; as there will be some issue
or the other that is being sorted in the family. It took a more effort to keep
ourselves united, together and bonded. Generally it’s very common to have
people surrounding us to tell us how we should live our lives, what we should
wear, how to raise up our kids and will literally want to interfere and pour
out advices which is not necessary and required.
In
the process we find a lot of dynamics happening within the family, as to who is
influencing whom in major decision making. Some members in the family if there
has been great attachment may also feel threatened and insecure, and will try
to have an upper hand and continue their power games.
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| courtesy Google images |
Similarly
I and David even though we had issues to deal with; we made sure, never to take
consultations and ideas from either of the families to solve our problems. We learnt
it early enough to take help from relationships that are outside the family,
but never from the immediate families. Despite all this we still had persons trying
to interfere and create misunderstanding between us to disrupt our unity.
We are
grateful to God that we learnt the hard way break away from those relationships
that was spreading toxic in our lives. We found them dumping poison, anger,
hatred, resentment and criticism... we learnt to smile and let go of them and wish all of them well in their lives J
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| courtesy Google images |
Did
you have any experiences of relationships attempting to break your marriage/family?
Would
love to hear from you …
Be
Blessed & Be Happy !
I so agree with you Angela. Sometimes we try too hard to hold on but letting go of toxic people is for our own good. Nice one!
ReplyDeleteShubhangi @ The Little Princess
Thanks little princess :) you are right .. we don't learn early, we wait for some very big knock to understand and then let go :)
DeleteI have never understood why close family members would not the other couples to have harmonious relationship. Why cant the whole family be one unified team? Glad that you and David stayed away from such toxic relationships!
ReplyDeleteIts a very touchy and sensitive issue Shilpa, and shocks you when you find toxic coming from within the family. It is so so subtle that sometimes you don't even know its happening in your life.. .. it takes a lot of courage to accept and take some very hard decisions despite having love for the larger family.
DeleteSo glad you and David managed to break away from toxic relatives. That's the reason Dad and I left Patna and settled in Jaipur. If those people can't find a relationship to break, they will try to break you... from the inside! Why do they do that?
ReplyDelete- Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com
Nice to know that you too had some experience of breaking away from toxic relatives... I don't really know the actual cause, may be its insecurity, unhappiness, jealousy, hatred or resentment that they cannot bear anyone else progressing...
DeleteThanks Genevive very much for this interesting look into your life. People can be too ready and insistent on 'giving advice' - which is awful and most often has a hidden agenda behind it. Glad that you and David were able to break free!
ReplyDeleteIts all part of learning our lessons and growing up;and right enough as you have stated, we are unable to see the hidden agenda, and when you see it, its terrible and very difficult to digest at the moment. But then some where we need to break free in order to say yes to our own growth process..
DeleteI have had an actual experience of how advice from family members can be toxic and really break up a family
ReplyDeleteIt must have been a terrible experience for you... hope you were able to recognise the toxic and protected yourself and family ? Nice to connect with you here..
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