April 2, 2016

B –Break away from all forms of Toxic

I have chosen 26 Tips for a Happy Married Life 
as my theme for A-Z April challenge, 2016. 

Today the word is Break away


Getting married at 35 was a blessing to me, as I was mature enough to understand the seriousness of living with another person who is unique in every way -  background, experience, education, belief, perception, and even with different goal. David being the eldest had responsibility of taking care of his family. So from a family of 9 members I entered into a family of 4 J comparatively a smaller than mine.  The advantages were that I was always supported and my kids and home were taken care because there was always someone at home. House work was shared and I was happy to be part of an extended family.

It’s not always easy to stay in peace in a joint set up; as there will be some issue or the other that is being sorted in the family. It took a more effort to keep ourselves united, together and bonded. Generally it’s very common to have people surrounding us to tell us how we should live our lives, what we should wear, how to raise up our kids and will literally want to interfere and pour out advices which is not necessary and required. 

In the process we find a lot of dynamics happening within the family, as to who is influencing whom in major decision making. Some members in the family if there has been great attachment may also feel threatened and insecure, and will try to have an upper hand and continue their power games.

courtesy Google images
Similarly I and David even though we had issues to deal with; we made sure, never to take consultations and ideas from either of the families to solve our problems. We learnt it early enough to take help from relationships that are outside the family, but never from the immediate families. Despite all this we still had persons trying to interfere and create misunderstanding between us to disrupt our unity. 

We are grateful to God that we learnt the hard way break away from those relationships that was spreading toxic in our lives. We found them dumping poison, anger, hatred, resentment and criticism... we learnt to smile and let go of them  and wish all of them well in their lives J

courtesy Google images
Did you have any experiences of relationships attempting to break your marriage/family?

Would love to hear from you …

Be Blessed & Be Happy !

10 comments:

  1. I so agree with you Angela. Sometimes we try too hard to hold on but letting go of toxic people is for our own good. Nice one!

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks little princess :) you are right .. we don't learn early, we wait for some very big knock to understand and then let go :)

      Delete
  2. I have never understood why close family members would not the other couples to have harmonious relationship. Why cant the whole family be one unified team? Glad that you and David stayed away from such toxic relationships!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its a very touchy and sensitive issue Shilpa, and shocks you when you find toxic coming from within the family. It is so so subtle that sometimes you don't even know its happening in your life.. .. it takes a lot of courage to accept and take some very hard decisions despite having love for the larger family.

      Delete
  3. So glad you and David managed to break away from toxic relatives. That's the reason Dad and I left Patna and settled in Jaipur. If those people can't find a relationship to break, they will try to break you... from the inside! Why do they do that?
    - Chicky @ www.mysteriouskaddu.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice to know that you too had some experience of breaking away from toxic relatives... I don't really know the actual cause, may be its insecurity, unhappiness, jealousy, hatred or resentment that they cannot bear anyone else progressing...

      Delete
  4. Thanks Genevive very much for this interesting look into your life. People can be too ready and insistent on 'giving advice' - which is awful and most often has a hidden agenda behind it. Glad that you and David were able to break free!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its all part of learning our lessons and growing up;and right enough as you have stated, we are unable to see the hidden agenda, and when you see it, its terrible and very difficult to digest at the moment. But then some where we need to break free in order to say yes to our own growth process..

      Delete
  5. I have had an actual experience of how advice from family members can be toxic and really break up a family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It must have been a terrible experience for you... hope you were able to recognise the toxic and protected yourself and family ? Nice to connect with you here..

      Delete

Recent Comments

Recent Comments Widget