Last Sunday, I and my
daughter Maria Dorothy went to the nearby parish church, While returning from the church, my
daughter was talking to me about how I had failed in introducing her to my extended
family and our relatives. As neither I or my husband takes her out for
functions and social gatherings among the families and relative circles. She stated telling me that she does not know
anybody, neither our relatives nor my friends.
I listen to her in silence and agreed with
what she said, as earlier when my son Emmanuel was alive, we had to be very choosy about
going out, we had to take into account the weather, distance, diet etc as he was very prone for respiratory infections, on account of which we could not
go for all the social gatherings,
nevertheless I tried my best to take both my kids everywhere I went, but then
sometimes I had to make some very tough choices keeping the well being of my
son in mind, which had its impact on my daughter, for she had to go with her
uncle’s family or with her aunt who had their own circle of relatives/friends to be with.
Now that my son is no
more, we are still experiencing his loss in the family, I have somehow managed
with the help of my friends, and working on myself learnt to cope with the new
situation, even though I have been struggling to accept his loss.. My husband on the other hand is also in pain,
as my son was very attached to him, especially in the last six months before my
his death, Now it’s a void for him, he is still angry with God and taking his
time to grieve, and so he is not totally come out of the situation – and my
daughter being sensitive feels sidelined.
I understand my
husband’s feelings, and also my daughter’s but at the same time, I feel so
helpless, and keep wondering how I handle these situations in life now. I tried to explain to my daughter stating,
“Your father is still in a state of shock, and has not come over Emmanuel’s (my
son) loss in the family.
Hence be a
little kind to your father, for he has lost his only son, once he is able to
come out of the situation, he will start taking you out everywhere, for which
she suddenly retorted “Mamma, I want you and Dad to know that I have lost my
brother too, and I have nobody in my life to play with”, and broke down in tears,
for a moment I stood still, did not know what to say – for I saw that she was
honest, and she was grieving for her brother in her own way, I gently hugged
her, and allowed her to cry… I had no words to comfort her for iI knew deep down that she needs time to cope with too…
Have a nice day !
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