November 3, 2010

This too shall pass ….

Yesterday was All Souls' Day.  I visited the graves of my family members who have died, my mother, my father, my sister and my grand parents. It's an important day for us in the family, where all of us go together to the cemetery. This time I went alone as it was difficult for all of us to go together.

While visiting the graves, I recalled an event exactly  a month ago. A little girl baby was born in our family, she was so beautiful, looked like an angel, but her life on earth was so short, that before I could hold her in my arms and kiss her, she left the earth. It was as if a sweet angel that came for a brief visit to the earth, and had to leave back to where it belonged.

This little girl was born in an emergency as its heart beat dropped and the doctors tried their best to save the child.   When I heard about the baby, I rushed to the hospital, and found the baby on the ventilator, a small little girl appeared as though sleeping peacefully, after which I met Mary, my sister in law, in the post operative ward. The moment she saw me, she broke down, I had no words to communicate, the grief was too much to bear. After a while the nurse brought a small little baby wrapped in a pink towel, and gave her to Mary to hold for some time. 


I can never forget that moment of grief - of a women who carried this same child for nine months, in her womb, and at the end of the term, had to hold a lifeless body of a child in her hands. She wept and wept inconsolably, I did not know what to do, I have never encountered a situation like this, I felt totally lost, and had no words to console. I was too shocked and felt extremely pained, all I could do was to silently stand by and hold her hands.

I am still in the process of coming out of this experience which was too deep. For the first time in my life, I carried a dead baby in my arms to bury – it was too much for me to take, I cried silently and handed over the baby to her father, who buried her.

The time stood still, death is an important reality, I have the experience of my sister who died young, my parents who died, it did affect me to some extent, but this experience of death was too sudden, unexpected that left me numb and shocked.

I have no words to console the mother of the child, who is in grief, it’s painful to see and difficult to handle – I feel helpless and in pain too.  But deep in my heart I believe that God knows what is best, and this too shall pass ……. This little angel who departed, had given me opportunity to look at life at close quarters, and has challenged me with this question - if I were to leave the earth, what would I do now?  I am thinking and relooking at my life? Hopefully answering it in my heart, and making those changes which will improve the quality of my life.

Be a blessing !

 

5 comments:

  1. I am speechless at your write up. Although I have not experienced this kind of grief, I could feel from the way you wrote how difficult this could have been for you. We bow our heads to accept His decisions.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by !it was a tough time, but that too has passed now...

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  2. Very touching, I must say.

    "This too shall pass.." the phrase was doing the rounds in my mind this evening....and co-incidently i hit on your post wid the same title..
    I read an article with this title sometime back..and it had an impact on me...
    Whenever, I find a situation too difficult to handle, I say to myself "This too shall pass.."

    Take Care

    Shail

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    Replies
    1. Nice to know that you liked this... this phrase remains for favourite, pray that you get the courage to say in times of distress !

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  3. Thanks Punam, for your comments, somethings happen, at that time it is difficult to explain - the only thing as rightly put by you is bow our head to accept His decision, thanks again

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