April 26, 2016

V – Violence, say “NO”

I have chosen 26 Tips for a Happy Married Life as my theme
 A-Z April challenge, 2016.
Today the word is V – Violence, say “NO”
There is a saying we all make mistakes that is why pencils have erasers. No matter how much ever we try to want to or decide to have a perfect relationship with the spouse; there are bound to be some small mistakes which is part of being human. 

We can look around ourselves for the model and I am sure we will not find perfect persons; but imperfect people helping one another to grow. In a marital relationship there is no guarantee that our partner will be Mr PerfectJ. Conflicts are part of every intimate relationship and we cannot avoid conflicts in marriage. So then how do we distinguish between normal conflict and domestic violence?

grateful for these images: Healthyplace.com
Most of the women including myself have experienced some forms of conflicts in a martial relationship in varying degrees. The most common forms are verbal abuse and financial abuse, some of us are blessed and privileged to be able to identify and have learnt to resolve conflicts over a period of time. But some others continue to suffer not even knowing that it’s a violation   of their human right. Many women continue to stay in the relationship, because of fear and they think if they assert themselves violence may increase from bad to worse.  

grateful for these images: Healthyplace.com
Some times it is for the sake of their children that they prefer to stay even in an abusive marriage.
I feel inspired to write this post mainly to women today:

Please stop believing that abuse is your fault.
You cannot stop abuse by acting differently.
Learn to admit that you are abused women if you are abused verbally, physically. Psychologically and financially.
Don’t feel pressured to stay in an abusive relationship if it’s a big threat to your life.
Believe that you are not alone in this world; help is available for you and your children.
Talk in confidence to someone you trust: a relative, a friend, a pastor or a family doctor
If you are choosing to stay in the abusive situation – make a plan of action to ensure you are safe that includes keeping all your personal documents, ATM cards, Bank pass books, property papers and some money in times of emergency.

grateful for these images: Healthyplace.com
If you are in Hyderabad you may note the following information.
·         Women’s help line 1091 24 hrs toll free (Hyderabad)
·         Women protection cell: @ 040 -23320539
·         Women police station: 040-27853508
·         YWCA, Sec-bad -040-27801909
·         Human Rights Law Network: 040-27661883
·         Bhumika helpline for women: 1800 425 2908
·         Makro foundation: 040-46004600

Domestic violence has no place in a healthy marriage. Say “NO” to Violence


  1. This is an important post Genevive thank you. Many women do not claim their human rights. It's good that interventions are available. No-one deserves to be abused. No thing deserves abuse. The abuser in a strange kind of way also abuses himself ... his soul is demeaned by his behaviour.

    1. Thanks Susan for your thoughts which I agree with what you say. I was reflecting after my post and was wondering whether I am still in line with the theme for the challenge... as I chose violence, on a second thought I felt may be I should have reflected upon how the couple could be Victorious in dealing with conflicts so learning conflict resolution would have a been a tip for staying together :)

    2. I know what you mean after posting and wondering whether it could have focused on something else - happens to me all the time. But this is important that you posted THIS one G.

  2. Thanks Susan, feel comforted and I kept telling myself that there is so much violence seen around and just couldn't stop myself to write about this ...

  3. Agree with you, women should say NO to all types of violence and abuse in marriage, whether physical, emotional/ mental. It is sad that women continue to stay in such abusive relationships. A neighbour was subjected to torture not only by her husband but in-laws too and she believed it to be her fault. Women should educate themselves, talk about DV with family and friends and should not tolerate it.

  4. This post is vital for all those who face such a traumatizing relationship and are clueless about what to do! A man, if doesnt like anything, should talk things out, verbal or physical abuse has no excuse! Just because she is not strong enough doesnt entitle her to tolerate such nuisance!

    1. Very true ! unfortunately violence becomes an accepted norm in some marriages, wherein the women also feel ok and tolerate, as they see no way out. women do not want to take help as they do not want to burden their family, and do not want get into legal issues which will run for years..


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