April 6, 2016

E - Explore and Experiment to learn more about self and other.

I have chosen 26 Tips for a Happy Married Life as my theme for A-Z April challenge, 2016. 
Today the word is Explore and Experiment to learn more about self and other.




I love this word explore and I have made this word of 2016 for myself; as I want seriously explore all aspects of my life, daring to experiment and take a few risks – whether it is relooking at my eating patterns, managing myself and willing to change my perception about how I am viewing myself, my family and work.

In the early years of marriage, I found David to be very short tempered, he would easily get angry even for small things in life. I was very impatient and would love to keep to the schedule and routine – so we had to unlearn so much of what we have learnt and carried that forward in our relationships, in order to bring in the balance and equanimity. 

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It did takes us long to resolve fights and misunderstanding, since we were also committed to wards growth, we could see what needs to be changed and how do we cope with everyday challenges. One of the first things I told myself is that I am not going to change him… which was a great relief to me as I understood that we can never change anyone…. I started accepting him as he was without trying to mould him to my standards and stopped taking things personally thus helping myself separate from the issues. Believe me I felt confident about myself and so whenever there was problem I looked at the issue and tried to resolve without attacking the person. This process of looking at the issue took a lot of time for me to learnt, and I learnt it by practice.

In this process I began exploring myself redefining my purpose in marriage, respecting and genuinely caring and helping David to search for his own purpose of existence. The loss of our child made us see death at close quarters. A vulnerable situation to deal with our own emotions of sadness, loss, depression and at the same time ensures that we do not take the sibling for granted.

I had my own ways to cope with the loss and death and thus emerge myself as a helper in the university, reaching out to students. On the other hand I found David exploring and experimenting with scripture, (learning, understand and interpreting) giving back in gratitude to God through sharing his personal testimony and thus encouraging the church members not to give up easily in life, but to hold on to God.
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I could see changes coming in David’s temper mellowing him down and today we are glad for the way each of us have evolved and still continue to experiment and open self to new learnings.

Would love to hear from you !
Be Blessed & Be Happy!

7 comments:

  1. I so agree with you that we cannot change anyone. The only thing we can do is change ourselves, change our perspective. And in doing so, we grow as a person too. And yes, in relationships, we experiment, learn and grow and enrich each other. Thanks for sharing an insightful and though provoking lesson, Genevive! :)

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    1. happy to stay in touch shilpa, glad to know that my post was insightful and provoked you to think :)

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  2. Thanks Genevive - an important lesson there in that we are not there to change anyone, that is their responsibility and destiny even .. but we can be alongside them and they with us as we face the challenges of life. Thank you.

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    1. yes Susan, other wise we are in for a disappointment waiting and hoping that one day he will change or she will change.. I come across so many women who have continued to hang on despite abusive situations hoping one day the spouse will give up substance or give up violence.. its sad but true..

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  3. It's remarkable how you could convert a tragedy into a 'positive '

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  4. Thanks for your generosity, today comments are raining from you :) you brought smile to my face.. thanks again:)

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  5. There is so much to learn from every phase of life...

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