C - CHALLENGE

Among the many words that came to my mind, I chose Challenge for C. The reason is my life is full of challenges. I was born in a middle class Tamilian catholic family, consisting of nine children. I was the eight child in the family, and being a girl/women and abiding by traditions and cultures is itself enough of a challenge to talk about.

I have 5 brothers and two sisters older to me and one sister younger to me. I had lost my elder sister when I was still in primary school. My mother was a home maker, and my dad worked in a private sector.

Right from my childhood, there was clear defined roles for me and my brothers, it was very easy to pick up without questioning anything, as it was an accepted fact, not to question, or change anything, but just follow the usual path of what the other girls of my age do as they grow- wash, clean, and help in the kitchen and go to school.

The message was very clear from the beginning, that no matter whatever be the qualification, talent, capacity, strengths a woman has, the final goal for her is to get married, bear children, cook and care for the family.  There is no identity for women, and their identity will be given by her father before marriage, and after marriage, she will be given her husband’s identity. These messages are given in various ways, at different moments not only in the early years of growing up, but gets clearer as one grows up.

There were times, I regretted and hated being a girl. I envied my brothers who enjoyed freedom, to move around freely, learn to cycle, swim and go for night movies, and roam around with friends. For me to do any such things would be to invite problems for myself. In spite of all these conditions, I learnt everything breaking the rules.

I did have my own fun in doing what I was not supposed to, I learnt to cycle without my mom’s knowledge, I played shuttle in the evening with my peers, used to get wet playing in the rain, pluck tamarind from the tree and ate it raw, roamed around in the neighborhood chatting and took all the scoldings and sometimes beating too from my mother.

I have no regrets for what has gone by, I have begun to understand that my parents were the products of their own times, and they did what they thought and felt was best for the whole family.

The challenges I faced then, made me courageous, independent, authentic, humane and understanding.  Now I know that every challenge is drawing the best out of me, so I embrace all the challenges of my life as a gift, and hold it with gratitude in my heart, for they have been my stepping stones leading me to find myself.

Be Blessed & Be Happy !

 

Today I'm on C of the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge.