It has been extremely difficult
for me not to think of my son, Emmanuel in this season, as my mind keeps
reminding me with every detail that took place in the last year during this
time. Each time, I try to remind myself
that Emmanuel has evolved and moved to a much better place, where all of us
have to one day reach- and so there is a task for me to fulfill while I am alive on this earth.
Yet I struggle with emptiness and feel sad, as
memory is so vivid and my attachment to him in the last seven years of my life
is so strong, that Emmanuel had become a driving force for me to re discover my
existence, so no matter what I do, he still remains very much a part of my
life.
while I acknowledge the pain and the void in my life, I do not want to
take my daughter Maria Dorothy for
granted, for she has been a joy to me, and was such a darling, that she allowed
the space required for her brother to find a place in our family, she was
generous in partnering with me, as I struggled in bringing up Emmanuel.
There is a beautiful part of her
that made her protect her brother, I could trust her to take care of Emmanuel
in my absence, I could relax to know that Dorothy was there to have an eye on
her brother, when we went out for parties and functions, she learnt to help me,
and understand that Emmanuel required a little more attention.
I recall an
incident, when she took Emmanuel to play with other children, an older boy
called Emmanuel dumb, and she was so upset, she fought with him, and came home
and cried, telling me, mamma ! How can they be so rude, for Emmanuel has just
picked up a few words to articulate?
There were also times, she taught him to fight back, she literally demonstrated
how to protect himself.
Today I want to acknowledge with
gratitude, for Dorothy in my life, and for all that she did for her brother, she
learnt to feed him, wash his face, dress him up, help him put on his shoes, and
above all understood that her brother was different from her.
Dorothy was also very
sensitive and knew that her brother has to be protected from cold weather,
hence covered him with sweater, and put on cap, and then used to take him out
to play. At the church she used to hold
his hands and control his movements.
Now when I weep for Emmanuel for
his loss, I cannot but look at my daughter and rejoice, so this Christmas,
while I am crying with pain on one side, but I am also happy on the other side
for the lovely gift of my daughter, who is now my motivation to keep moving on
in gratitude.
Thanks Fruity, (that’s my
daughter’s pet name) for all that you have been and still are – I love you and
thank God a million times for you in my life! I am blessed and motivated to
journey with gratitude!
Be Blessed & Be happy!
This is very touching, Janet. I think Emmanuel taught everyone he touched, not in the least his sister! ♥
ReplyDeleteYou are right corinne, can't imagine the impact he has created in just a span of seven years ! truly Emmanuel !God with us
ReplyDeleteBeautiful :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment ! appreciate you for stopping by !
ReplyDelete