I have chosen 26
Tips for a Happy Married Life as my theme
A-Z April
challenge, 2016.
Today
the word is V – Violence, say “NO”
There is a saying we
all make mistakes that is why pencils have erasers. No matter how much ever we
try to want to or decide to have a perfect relationship with the spouse; there
are bound to be some small mistakes which is part of being human.
We can look
around ourselves for the model and I am sure we will not find perfect persons;
but imperfect people helping one another to grow. In a marital relationship
there is no guarantee that our partner will be Mr PerfectJ.
Conflicts are part of every intimate relationship and we cannot avoid conflicts
in marriage. So then how do we distinguish between normal conflict and domestic
violence?
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| grateful for these images: Healthyplace.com |
Most of the women including
myself have experienced some forms of conflicts in a martial relationship in
varying degrees. The most common forms are verbal abuse and financial abuse,
some of us are blessed and privileged to be able to identify and have learnt to
resolve conflicts over a period of time. But some others continue to suffer not
even knowing that it’s a violation of their human right. Many women continue to
stay in the relationship, because of fear and they think if they assert
themselves violence may increase from bad to worse.
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Some times it is for the sake of their children
that they prefer to stay even in an abusive marriage.
I feel inspired to write this
post mainly to women today:
Please stop believing that
abuse is your fault.
You cannot stop abuse by
acting differently.
Learn to admit that you are abused
women if you are abused verbally, physically. Psychologically and financially.
Don’t feel pressured to stay
in an abusive relationship if it’s a big threat to your life.
Believe that you are not
alone in this world; help is available for you and your children.
Talk in confidence to someone
you trust: a relative, a friend, a pastor or a family doctor
If you are choosing to stay
in the abusive situation – make a plan of action to ensure you are safe that
includes keeping all your personal documents, ATM cards, Bank pass books,
property papers and some money in times of emergency.
·
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| grateful for these images: Healthyplace.com |
·
Women’s help line 1091
24 hrs toll free (Hyderabad)
·
Women protection cell:
@ 040 -23320539
·
Women police station:
040-27853508
·
YWCA, Sec-bad
-040-27801909
·
Human Rights Law
Network: 040-27661883
·
Bhumika helpline for
women: 1800 425 2908
·
Makro foundation:
040-46004600
Domestic violence has
no place in a healthy marriage. Say “NO” to Violence
This is an important post Genevive thank you. Many women do not claim their human rights. It's good that interventions are available. No-one deserves to be abused. No thing deserves abuse. The abuser in a strange kind of way also abuses himself ... his soul is demeaned by his behaviour.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan for your thoughts which I agree with what you say. I was reflecting after my post and was wondering whether I am still in line with the theme for the challenge... as I chose violence, on a second thought I felt may be I should have reflected upon how the couple could be Victorious in dealing with conflicts so learning conflict resolution would have a been a tip for staying together :)
DeleteI know what you mean after posting and wondering whether it could have focused on something else - happens to me all the time. But this is important that you posted THIS one G.
DeleteThanks Susan, feel comforted and I kept telling myself that there is so much violence seen around and just couldn't stop myself to write about this ...
ReplyDeleteAgree with you, women should say NO to all types of violence and abuse in marriage, whether physical, emotional/ mental. It is sad that women continue to stay in such abusive relationships. A neighbour was subjected to torture not only by her husband but in-laws too and she believed it to be her fault. Women should educate themselves, talk about DV with family and friends and should not tolerate it.
ReplyDeleteThis post is vital for all those who face such a traumatizing relationship and are clueless about what to do! A man, if doesnt like anything, should talk things out, verbal or physical abuse has no excuse! Just because she is not strong enough doesnt entitle her to tolerate such nuisance!
ReplyDeleteVery true ! unfortunately violence becomes an accepted norm in some marriages, wherein the women also feel ok and tolerate, as they see no way out. women do not want to take help as they do not want to burden their family, and do not want get into legal issues which will run for years..
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