Independent

I have chosen 26 Tips for a Happy Married Life as my theme for A-Z April challenge, 2016.

Today the word is being independent

I like this word Independent – for me this word means freedom to be yourself,  to believe in the power that is in oneself;  to be confident in everything you do, to nurture an evolving sense of identity as I journey along.

It also means having space to be who you are; and not what you want to be; to appreciate your unique self and affirm and utilize all the talents and capacities bestowed with.  One of the blessings of our relationship is that both of us are very Independent people; probably because we made decision to get married after 30 years. Being independent has helped us stay together and strong. They say only independent people can be interdependent.

There have been situations in our lives wherein we needed to function independently, and we did that happily because a lot of things I do by myself gives me happiness and joy. Like working on the computers, riding my bike and having my own group of friends, pursuing hobbies that I would love to and also setting a boundary to share about myself to the extent that I want to. At the same time giving the same space to your partner to be himself; to allow freedom to share to the extent he wants to; and providing enough space to have his own circle of friends, and also allowing to pursue his own hobbies that give happiness and joy.

There have been times when both my kids were sick at the same time; so I managed my son as he was a baby and my husband managed my daughter as she was slightly older. There were also moments when my husband could not walk, with a leg injury of an accident and I had to draw his salary, buy provisions for home and also drop my kids.

I was able to manage because I was quite independent. Some times work kept me late in the office; then I found David getting into the kitchen and completing all the cooking, and also looking after the kids independently. There were times he washed off the clothes, cleaned up the house and even managed his work at office. Being independent helps us to complement and work as a team to accomplish all that is desired for the family and also the career. Only independent people can be interdependent.

“Marriage is like a garden with beautiful flowers and weeds. The trick is to pull the weeds and cherish the flowers”.

Be Happy!