January 13, 2011

Need to move on ...

Its 12 days now, since Emmanuel is no more in my life, it has been very painful and hurting to move on, as I have got so used to having him around me, that I am still coping with my own self to believe, that my son has left this earth.  He had a purpose in my life and our family and I am in the process of discovering what the purpose has been.

His presence is still around the house, and I experience him every moment of the day, in and out. While I struggle with emptiness and void, I have my daughter who is looking unto me for comfort, for she is struggling in her own way to also grieve the loss of her brother.  She feels very strongly, that she has nobody in life now, she and her brother were very attached, Emmanuel loved his sister, and she was a little teacher to him, and also assisted me in giving him his medicines, neubalizing him, singing and dancing for him.  They would play with each other, cycle together in the compound and hug each other when they were happy and she would be upset when he is sick.

I have no words to comfort her, I just give her a hug and tell her that Emmanuel is moved to another world, where all of us will also go one day, but he chose to go early in life, and he is without pain and is with the angels, for he is entrusted with some work to do, we also have some work to do here, and I remind her how precious she is to us, and God has a beautiful plan and purpose for her too.

Today she is gone to school to be with her friends, and also share about her brother with them.  I am thankful to God, for her and continue with my life being open to God and myself, for there is no clear direction at the moment, but I believe there is something waiting for me to accomplish, and I wait with gratitude.

 Have  a grateful day !

1 comment:

  1. My dear Emmanuels mom, your little angel came to this world as a messenger, to tell you mom you are the smartest and the brightest and there are a lot of my friends just like me, who do not have a mom like you and they need your support and help. He gave his message and left.


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