August 28, 2009

My Son My Teacher

I have come to realize , that struggle is extremely important for our growth, for I have found in my life, each time, I faced a struggle, I emerged victorious, and my faith in God, faith in my self and faith in my relationships strengthened.

Raising Emmanuel and Dorothy has been quite a tough job, and I still continuously keep learning, as they challenge me to look at my own perceptions, mental frame work of what I believe about beauty, achievement and success. It’s been tough to strike a balance between my two children, my daughter who is very articulate and knows what she wants, so it is clear for me, on the other side, my son who is very different, I need to understand, and look out of other signs & gestures to communicate with him.

I have begun to understand somewhere deep within, I have still not accepted Emmanuel as he is, for it still seems very strange and hurtful to think that I have borne a down syndrome child, even though I know in my mind, that the past cannot be undone, and what is important is the now.

Its an unconscious pattern, and when I am aware of this, I make deliberate attempts to make a choice to love and accept Emmanuel as he is, without trying to change him. Emmanuel on the other hand is happy and full of life, unaware of how others treat him, and he is so affectionate, and expresses love and warmth in his own way that I become very overwhelmed and ashamed of my own attitude.
Now when I look at my son, I am thankful to God for giving him to me as a gift, and reaffirm my belief that his life has a purpose too, and he is part of Gods plan in my life.Today I no longer hurry with my son, as he is very slow, and require a lot of time, and I am sure, he will learn at his pace. This has made me to appreciate and affirm him everyday, so that he will be empowered to manage himself.

I believe I can do this, only when I feel at home with myself, accept my kids just the way they are, and begin empowering them from where are they at, rather than placing false expectations on how they should look, talk, walk or behave.

When I stand by what I believe, that every child is unique and precious, and God has a specific plan for them too, it reduces a lot of unnecessary and unwanted stress, there is no need to live up to people’s expectation, to compare their children with mine.

I have also begun to understand that the problem is not with the child, it lies in us as to how we interpret what is beautiful, what is perfect and what is normal, the child is happy, loving, pure and innocent.

I am thankful to my son for challenging me to redefine myself, my beliefs and my attitudes in life, and I am willing to learn in order to live a life full of meaning and purpose.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Albert Einstein

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