September 8, 2013

Happy Birthday Dorothy


This post was written for 
WRITE TRIBE FESTIVAL OF WORDS
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This is my seventh post

I could not post yesterday, as there was a problem with the net connection. We had  a total bandh in Hyderabad yesterday, I found  it very difficult to post from the  internet centre, after making  3 -4 attempts last evening, there was some technical problem with the net connection, I was not able to post.  So I am posting this today.

 7 September is an important date for me. It’s a birthday of my daughter Maria Dorothy.  I am happy to talk about my daughter who will complete 12 and enter into 13th year.  This day doubles my joy, as it is also the last day for the challenge, and I am so happy to have been a part of this group.


I tried to visit a few bloggers, and it was such a meaningful experience for me to learn, understand and grow a little more. I want to thank each and every blogger who has been part of this seven day challenge, and I would want to read your posts.

I hope to bring some changes in myself, as I have not been a regular writer.  I love to share my experiences at this place and also would like to hear and learn from you.

I thank in a very special way  Corinne who has been my motivation for this challenge, and am grateful to all those who have been kind and commented on my posts.  I specially thank Shilpa, sridevi, Roshini, Diana, Vishal, Suresh, Vidya, Ruchi, Suzy, Karan and sorry if I have left any of you who have commented on my post, appreciate you all for  inspiring me.

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Today being my daughter’s 12th birthday, I am all excited, as she is celebrating at home with family and friends.  I am grateful to God for the wonderful gift of her in my life, after the loss of my son; she has been my strength and support. It is because of her in my life; I was and am still able to cope with the loss of my son.




Today I wish her a very happy birthday, and pray for Gods abundant blessings on her!

With love & gratitude


 

September 6, 2013

SEVEN LIES

I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words  This is my Sixth Post 

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Today I want to share on SEVEN Lies I heard about myself, and it took a long time for me to understand that they were lies, and as a result I suffered from very low self esteem, lack of confidence, and always compared myself with other girls and the beauty queens.  In the process I was sad and unhappy. 

To cut the long story short, I needed to be loved, affirmed and relook at these lies, verify and then make a fresh start to bring in changes in myself, which I eventually did and today I can look back and share the learning’s hoping that it might be of help to someone who may have similar issues in life.

The lies I heard about myself was:

1.      I am not beautiful

I was told that I am dark, short and fat and so not really beautiful. So to be beautiful meant, to be fair, tall, and slim.  I believed what I heard, and every time I looked into the mirror, I did not feel happy about myself and I saw myself as defined by others around me. 


Images.Google search

The more I dwelt on this fact, the difficult it became to see myself as someone unique, precious and beautiful.I needed help for myself, and searching frantically within myself and sharing my problem with my friends, who thankfully were genuine and kind, I was able to rediscover myself. 

The day I realized it’s a lie, things changed around me – I started looking at myself through a new lens. From then on I have not turned back in my life; so many factors influenced me, the number of sessions I attended on building self esteem, the books that I have read by motivational speakers, everything worked for me.  

Learning: Do not let others define you; open yourself to new experiences in life

2. I am just a girl

This is another big lie I have heard several times, after all you are a girl, a woman and you are not supposed to laughing loudly, running around with bicycle, don’t behave like a tomboy. Being a girl you must know how to behave, you are not supposed to talk so loud.  You must adjust to whatever is given to you, it is ok for you to wait, let the boys get served first, as they should not get stones in their rice, its ok for girls they can digest stones too.

Every time I heard this, I used to feel humiliated.  There were times, I even hated to have been born a girl, especially when I saw the freedom given to boys to go around, have fun, return home late, no restrictions, it made me resent. Somehow unconsciously it bound me from within, I found difficult to be myself.  To be free, authentic and enthusiastic about life. 

Images.Google search
Later on I understood that these messages have been passed on …. So it’s not the fault of those who shared this lie with me.  I need to question this and find out for myself whether it was true…..  that s what I did …

Learning: Never accept beliefs blindly, always think

3. Girls are meant for household work

The third lie was, girls are meant only for household work. Their duty is to do the entire household work, get married bear children and that was the end of their lives. Girls have no identity; their identity comes from being a daughter first and later on becoming a wife. 

This was very open and obvious, statements like, and what will you do after studying? Why do you want to go to college? What is use of all this study for ultimately you will land in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning and washing clothes? It is sheer waste of money to invest on girls for they will any way get married and settled down with their husband. 

Images.Google search

Never accept this lie, as each of us here have a specific purpose for our lives. Explore, find out what is my purpose…. And do not accept any labeling.

Learning: Explore and find who you are  and do not give up…..

4.Women cannot handle Finances

Another lie which I have heard constantly, women are not good with money, they do not know how to plan, how to budget and how to maintain finances.  Finances must be handled my men who are head of the family. 

You will complicate yourself unnecessarily, leave it to me I shall handle it; you take charge of the kitchen and the kids.  Do not ask from where the money is coming, I have done all the planning, just listen and come along; you will definitely will not be able to handle this.  

You were never meant for this... This is also a big lie … take opportunity, and learn to take it as a challenge, and you will surprise yourself, as to how well you will handle finances. I have tried and feel quite empowered with finances now.

Learning: Be open to learn and you will succeed in handling finances …

5.Don’t be so frank and open its better not to be very open

Don’t be so frank and open, why did you tell your correct age ?…….Again a very common lie, you will not get a good proposal, everybody say lies, nobody says the correct age, what you want to prove… that you are very honest and genuine ? It does not work that way, you will be cheated.  You don’t have to be so honest and straight forward, do not worry about it now, we will handle this matter later on, just listen to us and say you are only 26…27.. Whatever but definitely much younger than what you are …..  I refused to go by what was told, and I am happy to be my age. I am comfortable being me.

Learning: It is always good to be honest and straight forward to be at peace with oneself.

6.      Women are weak creatures

This again is one more lie, women are delicate and weak, they are not meant for riding, and they cannot handle a bike or a car. They need to be driven, escorted for they will not be able to manage themselves.  They are very emotional, and they cry easily, they will not be able to take so much pain. This is totally false, comparing women with physical strength and defining them as weak creatures who cannot handle themselves is a myth. I refused to believe, and I found myself doing everything that I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle.


Images.Google search

Learning: Do not prevent yourself from learning, what you love to – it could be riding, swimming, trekking, car driving …. you may add on …

7.      Perfect Women is one who sacrifices everything.

The image of a perfect women to be generous, giving selflessly to such an extent, that at the end of it, the women suffers, feels exploited abused in the process of becoming a perfect bahu (daughter in law) a perfect wife and a perfect mother This belief is influenced by our Indian cinema where every ideal women is most of the time portrayed as one who sacrifices everything for the sake of the family. 

Images.Google search

I am no exception and suffered by trying to play perfect roles as a daughter, wife, daughter-in-law and a mother.  I am happy to have found this to be totally a lie in the process of finding myself.

Learning: There is no need to be perfect, you have a right to express your needs and give yourself enough space to be happy

I made an attempt to write my story in a simple and short way, hoping to inspire and be inspired by you, would be glad to know your thoughts….

Be Happy !

September 4, 2013

HAPPY TEACHER’S DAY !

I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words  

This is my Fifth Post 

Today I chose the SEVEN letter word TEACHER!


Teachers in my life who have influenced and made a difference to my life.  I am eternally grateful for the teachers. Especially those who have taught me in the early childhood days.  I have very pleasant memories of some very adorable teachers who have guided and helped me not only to learn, but encouraged me to believe in myself.

I recall two very special teachers who taught me, one was a teacher named Savithri who taught me Tamil which was my first language in school. She was an expert in the subject, and taught so well, that I and my friends looked forward to attend her class. She was full of life, witty and humorous and at the same time helped us to understand the subject.

She taught Thirukkural, which is a collection of 1330 Tamil couplets organized, containing inspiring quotes and verses for learning.  Thiruvalluvar a Tamil poet and philosopher has contributed to Tamil literature. I still sometimes recall, remember and recite to myself and also tell my daughter.

Another Teacher I recall today is the teacher who taught me Hindi.  Hindi was my second language in school, and it was fun as the teacher was very simple and kind, never rude with us, so as children we played up in her class. Despite all the fun we learnt Hindi and enjoyed Khabir’s Dohe’s

My favourite Dohe’s were:
Maala to kar mein Phire, Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin,
Manua to chahun dish phire, yeh to sache simran Nahin”

Meaning to say that you say your rosary rotating by the hand and twisting your tongue, but your mind is wandering everywhere around, and this is not true worship.
Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya  Kare, kahan tak Dawa Lagaye

Meaning to say, worry is a thief that eats one’s heart, what can a poor doctor do, how far wills his medicine reach?  So be happy don’t worry.
Kaal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ub.
Pal mein pralaya hoyegi bahuri kaoge kub

Meaning to say, do the work of tomorrow today, and today’s work now, if the moment is lost, how will be get the work done. 

The best time is NOW.

Living in Hyderabad and speaking shud (pure) Hindi is really a challenge, as the hyderabadi hindi has a mix of urdu and telugu. In school the Hindi teacher used to correct us to speak properly – I am glad to have learnt from this teacher who was not only kind but affirming. It is a blessing to have teachers who can inspire, and motivate us to find ourselves.

There are other teachers who have helped too, and I am thankful for all of them.  Today I wish them all “A very Happy Teachers Day”

“What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches” Karl Menninger

Be Blessed & Be Happy !


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SEVEN YEARS JOURNEY

I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words  
This is my fourth Post 

Today I recall a seven year journey  of Emanuel’ (my son’s) life.  Even though the journey lasted only for 7 years - there is so much I have experienced and learnt from him.  Out of the many things, I picked up seven beautiful qualities that inspired me and continues to inspire me.

1.      Laughter – the most fascinating aspect of Emmanuel was his smile, he smiled with his eyes, and I loved watching him smile, though he was a special child, he was a charming and naughty. I remember the way he used to pull me from behind and run to hide, and I would pretend as though I have not seen him, and when I catch him in his mischief, he would laugh loudly.


2.      Thankfulness – is another aspect that made me fond of him, he was not able to articulate even till the age of 5.  Most of the time he spoke in actions. He was a quiet child, and we had to help him with everything. I recall the days, when I use to bathe him and carry him to wipe and change his clothes, he would be so excited that he would embrace me tight and kiss me on my cheeks. And whenever I brought a chocolate or a toy he would just hug me tight and express his thanks.


3.      Happiness –I always saw Emmanuel happy, never worried me or anybody else in the family.  It used to be so very contagious, that I would just imagine his presence, and feel refreshed. It was very rare to see tears in his eyes, and only on few occasions he really cried hard.  Once when he fell from the cot while sleeping, another time at the clinic when I used to take him for immunization. 

Other times, I could see him upset when his sister snatched his toy aeroplane, and when my husband shouted for having thrown his cell phone in the water.  He took joy in small things, loved to play in the water, enjoyed cycling, in fact loved to go around in his cycle



4.      Warmth & Friendly –Emmanuel was very warm and extremely friendly, to anyone who came home, and sometimes even strangers at public places. Befriending was so natural to him; it came effortlessly, and felt very much at home.

Living in a flat and balancing home & career, it has not been easy to move around in the neighborhood.  Emmanuel had no problem to walk into any house, sometimes I would feel uncomfortable to enter into neighboring house, but Emmanuel had no problem to go and rest, use their toilet and watch TV. The friendliness and warmth is something very cute that I can never forget in my life.



5.      Kindness– Emmanuel was very kind, and he expressed his kindness in many ways.  Whenever someone came home he would run open the door with a big smile on his face, and move the chair ushering them to sit.  He would even offer a glass of water.  He would share his cycle with his cousin and watch them play.  Sometimes I found children snatching from him, and he would still stand and smile and I used to get angry with them.

I recall when I took him to my daughter’s school for a fete, he loved ice cream, being prone for respiratory issues, I used to get scared to buy him one, but I did not want to deprive my daughter, because of Emmanuel, so would buy for both of them, and for Emmanuel I would melt it and give him so that he does not feel deprived. He would take a spoon and share it with his sister and whoever was next to him.




6.      Cheerfulness – Emmanuel was always cheerful, even when he is sick, he will bring smile to his face. So many times he will have fever and cough, but he will never cease to smile. Even at the clinic meeting the doctor, he will smile and shake hands with the doctor.  The doctor would give him a chocolate, and he will bring it and give it to his sister.

7.      Playful – Emmanuel loved to play, he would pull us when we are down and ask us to join him in playing with him. He had the habit of playing with teddy bear, soft toys; he will play with his sister’s bag, cell phone; He will find small towels, kerchiefs and put it in the water, make it wet and pretend it to be drying.

He will wear his father’s shoes and go around the house; He would also take his sister’s frock and wear; He would empty the powder box on his face and will come and stand in front of me, looking at his mischievous smile; I would carry him and hug him.

It’s almost will be 2 and half  years that he is  no more, but he continues to brighten my day, I feel happy to have had him for seven years and the impact he created will last a life time.
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Be Happy & Blessed !
  

September 3, 2013

SEVEN THINGS I LOVE TO DO

I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words  

This is my Third Post 

I am enjoying this challenge, and am glad to post seven things I love to do:

1.    Swimming

The very thought of a swimming in the waters, sends a thrill to me, for I love waters, and swimming in the deep waters have been a great sport for me.  I enjoyed the summer and the last two months, wherein I went every day to the pool and just spent time in the waters.

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The swimming pool creates a magic for me – I am more active and energized after a swim. It feels great to be in water, and having my daughter in the pool and swimming along with her during holidays brings in a  lot more of fun and joy.


2.      Riding
There is not a single day, I don’t ride. Riding has become my second nature now – I feel a sense of accomplishment with having a bike and to go wherever I want to. It’s just a beautiful feeling to be all by myself.  Bikes have been one of my favorite companions for the last 20 – 30 years of my life. Yes! I love to ride and experience the joy of riding; it’s a feeling of independence. 

 I go everywhere on my bike.  It is so handy and a big blessing in my life – I visit the school to pay the fee, meet the teacher, I go shopping – from vegetables to anything and everything I need to purchase.

I take my daughter for dance classes, I pick up things for home and visit my friends, stop any where I want to, treat myself and on the whole, make the maximum use of my bike.


3.      Reading
This is something that I acquired at an early age, and now it has become a part of me, I have also a collection of my favorite books.  Now these days I read a lot of stuff on the Google, I also subscribe to health magazines and inspiriting blogs that make me think, reflect, challenge and bring the best out of me.


I choose to keep one book with me all the time; it can be even my text book, which I am preparing for exam.  Currently I am reading all about counseling and behaviour modification, which is also a very interesting topic and it is part of my course that I am completing this year.

4.       Celebrations
I would love to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and festivals.  Birthdays always remain special for me – I like remembering the birthday dates of my family and friends.  I enjoy shopping for cards, flowers, chocolates, gifts and ordering for special cakes to make the person feel special on his /her birthday. 

Out of all the festivals, my favorite festival is Christmas, I love decorating the Christmas tree, tying the balloons, getting gifts for family, sharing sweets and cakes with neighbors’, wearing new clothes brings in a lot of excitement and fun. I look forward to celebrate.
  
5.      Nature walk
 I enjoy the greenery and I am so happy to be surrounded with trees all around me at my work place, I take frequent breaks to stand near my window and keep looking at the butterflies, pigeons that sit on the trees, and chameleon that changes its color.

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I prefer to walk around in the campus to feel the breeze and touch the leaves and feel the earth; it gives such a pleasant feeling.

6. Music
  Music is so much a part of my life that it wakes me up in the early hours.  My husband gets up in the early hours and puts on the devotional music in the morning, and it will keep playing till we move out of the house to our work places.


Free images from Google
 This continues even while I am riding, I am influenced by music, this brings in so much calmness and peace, it sets the tone for the day.  I enjoy music any time and I love to sing my favorite tunes, at other times I will be either listening to music or  humming the tune, which also keeps me happy and relaxed.

7. Looking at the Albums
This is my favorite past time, especially when I am at home and it’s a holiday – I will take the albums and enjoy looking at every picture in it, recalling and reliving memorable moments of my life. I sit with my daughter as she takes one album after another, pointing fingers asking me questions, and I happily narrate my past, as to where did I go, who were with me, and when did we take this picture, etc.. 

Free images from Google
I will continue to spend some time sharing my most beautiful experiences of life that I had with family, friends, at workplaces, all the seminars and workshops I have attended. It’s very energizing to look back, feel rich and proud as to how much I have travelled, learnt and enjoyed my life.  

Hope you enjoyed reading this post; do you have any such favorites ? Would love to hear …

 

September 2, 2013

SEVEN THINGS I CHERISH THE MOST

I am taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words  
This is my Second Post 

Today I want to focus on the things that I cherish the most in my life, there are so many things, out of all the things that I have in my life, the best ones I share in this challenge of celebrating with words.

1.      My Breath
Images taken from Google 

My breath is something beautiful I would like to cherish and talk about.  I am thankful for my breath every day and every moment.  There is something wonderful and mysterious about breath that makes me eternally grateful to the Giver and the very source of life.  

Who else can understand the value of breath, than a mother who prayed for every single breath of her son struggling in the ICU ward, and finally watched her child slowing down his breath bidding goodbye forever in her life.  Now when I breathe, I am aware of what it means to be alive, and let my child live through me.

2.      My Parents
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My parents, both my mom and dad have always been a very special part of my being. In so many ways they have made my life richer and meaningful.  I have learnt so much from them, from early childhood days, and watched them closely, though they were not the perfect couple, but they taught me to pray, to trust in the providence, to believe, to be kind and to share whatever we have with gratitude. I owe a lot to them and now I truly cherish and value for they are no more in my life.

3.      Motherhood
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Motherhood was a joy to me, especially when I held my daughter weighing 3.45kgs in my hand after nine months, the feeling and the fulfilment cannot be compared with any other thing in life. I still recall the way I was pampered by family and friends around me, showering me with the best of comforts and literally given me the best of everything I required.  My daughter continues to be a joy to me, and I am glad to have her in my life. 

Then came my son who was just around 2kgs, and was predicted by the doctors that he may be a special child – which brought in so much fear and insecurity, that I carried the child for nine months in great suspense, not knowing what kind of a child this could be. 

The most inspiring person in my life was the doctor who took care of me, Dr Evita who accompanied me right through both the pregnancies, and helped at every step, that made me celebrate the gift of both my son and my daughter. I can never forget this doctor and her team for the positive experience they created for my life. I struggled as a mother managing both of them, and I have learnt lessons for a life time.

 4.      My Friends
Images taken from Google
Friends are extended family members they say, and it has been very true in my life. I am blessed with very loving and devoted friends, and some of them have been with me from college, and others have been with me for more than 8 to 10 years, and I just love their company.  Friends have always motivated me and have been a great source of strength and energy – I cherish the gift of friendship in my life with gratitude. They believed in me, more than I believed in myself, I feel blessed because of Friends who love and care.

5.      My teachers

Images taken from Google

Teachers have played a great role in my life, and I would never want to forget them, some of my school teachers are still around.  I have grown so much in knowledge because of them, at every stage of my life, teachers have been kind – be it school or college – they have been a source of inspiration and guide to me, and I relive those moments and memories with love and thankfulness! Teachers have power to transform, and I am glad they were part of my life.

6.      My Mentors
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Mentors in my life are those who has given me religious instruction, who have helped me understand scriptures, who have spent time with me, helping me understand myself, who have taught me and created an atmosphere to experience God in simple aspects of life. 

So many priests, nuns, gurujis who have helped me look within, who have taught me to meditate, practice yoga, mindfulness, and other techniques to explore the deeper aspects of life to discover the real me….. and they still help me in evolving….. the person I was meant to be. I am to a large extent motivated, inspired and learnt so much from my mentors.

7.      My Books
Images taken from Google

Books have been great companions, and continues to be even today, the only difference is that I have reduced the number of books for reading, due to various reasons. Yet, I am still reading to be academically sound, so the type of books that I am reading now is helping me in my career. Some of the books have challenged me to question my beliefs, my thinking patterns and above all demanded a change leading me to find myself.

I love the variety of books and it is definitely an enriching experience.  So books continues to be one of my most cherished thing in my life.

What are the seven things that you cherish? would love to hear from you  ???

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