Dream So True......

Today I woke up from a dream that seemed so real. My whole body was shaken, my mind completely disturbed.  My dream took me to a beautiful shrine, wherein I had gone with my family.  I found myself sitting in the chapel, holding my children on either side.

I had come with great devotion, my eyes closed and my heart open, praying devoutly, so engrossed that I forgot about my children who were beside me.  In fact I was praying for them, for both my daughter and in a special way for my son. I was aware of my daughter sitting quietly and Emmanuel on the other side playing with my bag.

I completed my prayer, opened my eyes and found only my daughter, and not my son. Emmanuel my son was missing. I started looking around, frantically searching for him every where in the chapel; I was unable to trace him. I did not know what to do.

I started running out of the chapel crying and looking for him.  I started asking every person outside the chapel, describing him of his looks, the color of his clothes for easy identification. But I did not succeed in finding him.

I continued to move around the shrine, my heart pounding, my legs refusing to walk and I was almost shivering, unsure of the path.  I was walking like a mad woman in the crowd. Where would Emmanuel have gone? What has happened to him? I could not stop my tears; I have no words to describe my feelings. I felt apart of me was lost, and there was only darkness, void and emptiness in my life.

The thought of losing a child, who has speech difficulties, is unbearable.  I could not control my thoughts. What if someone took him away? How would he defend himself? How would he say if he is hungry or thirsty? Will he be able to survive without me? 

Oh God protect my son wherever he is? I do not know what to do? Where to find him? Where is he? What has happened? My thoughts are so frightening, for I have heard of stories where children are kidnapped and made to beg, I heard of children being used for menial jobs, some are taken into homes and made to do the domestic work. 

A special child is more vulnerable than the other children. My son!  Would he ever be able to come out of abusive and exploitative situations?  Oh God please do something? Who will bring me out of this misery, I have no way out?

I went searching everywhere, only to come back disappointed. Tired, hungry, broken I return back to the shrine thinking of my daughter who is waiting for me. Little girl sitting in the chapel.  Suddenly I gain strength thinking of her, oh my God, what am I doing, left my little girl behind, in search of my son.  I started walking as swiftly as I can towards the chapel. 

 I find my old friend on my way, and tell her about my missing son.   To my surprise she tells me that she saw Emmanuel sitting right in the front row in the church smiling away.  I could not believe my ears. My throat was dry; voice would not come out and I was speechless. There was only tears’ just flowing, to know that my son is fine and he is in the safest place.

I took courage and wiped my tears, went inside the shrine, knelt and sat down in gratitude.  Emmanuel was just standing in front of me smiling away. I became aware of his presence.  I was at peace as I closed my eyes; and I knew he was very close to my heart. Now there was no fear, no worry, no anxiety but peace and harmony alone. For I found him in the safest place, with the Lord, the very source of life.

I am grateful & Happy!

HAPPY DIWALI !

 

Wishing all my Friends a Very Happy and Prosperous Diwali !

Celebrate & Be Happy !

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE

Its 5 days now and my heart is grieving, as I continue to my work at Sahayam, Osmania University’s Psychological centre.  We had one more student, who committed suicide by hanging on a tree. I feel terrible and helpless and extremely sad, I  found out that this student was depressed and was unable to cope with his anxiety and fear, which is such a common emotion, that could have been easily dealt.

Suicide is one of the most preventable forms of death.  Yet, people shy away from talking about it, in most of the situations the person does not really want to end his/her life.  Most of the time young people are looking for a space to deal with these emotions, and are willing to take help.The sad part is people around are unable to detect, and identify the various clues the person gives in their attempt to cope with the problem.

It does hurt us in a deeper way, and I keep thinking, why? Was there not a single person in this vast campus, who could identify the warnings this student would have given in different ways. This experience points out to the kind of system we are in; psychological counseling is still considered to be western concept.  There is a lack of awareness and understanding on its importance especially in an academic institution that has thousands of students who are pursuing their post graduations and research.

In my experience of working in this centre for the last one and half years, I found most of the students who came in for counseling had problems related to adjustments in the campus, as they come in from their  small home town, they are overwhelmed by this huge university which they feel frightened and anxious about, other issues are relationship issues, fear, anxiety, stress etc.

The issues appear very small and insignificant, if they are not dealt in time; it leads to other severe mental problems. The simplest thing to do is to address issues when they are small. What more can be done, we join hands with other services that are available for students and do our own bit, of creating awareness, orienting students on this service, that responds exclusively for students to de tress, a place for them to air out their issues, figure out their solutions in order that they progress academically. This note is for  all those who feel  sad and depressed for various reasons:

·         Remember having problem is normal.

·         The pain seems permanent, but it is actually not.

·         Give yourself some time, and WAIT.

·         Talk to someone who you can trust.

·         There are lots of good people in this world who are ready to help you.

·         There is enough and more information related to almost all issues on the net.

·         There are plenty of organizations that are working for health

If you are in Hyderabad, you can also contact some of the places for help:

• Sahayam, Osmania University Psychological Counseling Centre
• Cell:   040 -27682451. 8978191572 /9703737737    Email: sahayamou@gmail.com
• Hyderabad Academy of Psychology. 040-27847755 or 94939-75140 or 050-32578899.
•  Makro Foundation: 040-46004600

Be Happy !