September 27, 2010

Forgiveness – The Best Gift

It been more than one and half months, that David my husband is at home, and totally dependent on me, and it makes him feel very vulnerable, as he needs one person all the time with him, I see him struggle, as he was a very active person, and he does not rest even when he is ill. Now a fracture of his knee, he is forced to take  complete bed rest. He gets impatient, restless and anxious, as he is not supposed to walk, so he is counting days when the doctor will ask him to place his leg down, which will take another week.

As for me responding to him, and the kids and manage the kitchen and also help my husband with his paper work is quite demanding, while I strive for balance, I am challenged by thoughts of negative experiences, hurts and wounded situations, which gives rise to feelings of anger, revenge, hatred and unforgiveness.


The easiest thing to do is use this opportunity to give back what I have received from my husband and tell him how wrong he was, and settle the scores, as he is very vulnerable. But I do have a choice, wherein I could be kind and forgive everything, and move on, and I chose to forgive, once I made a decision in my mind,  my feelings changed, and there was only compassion that enabled me to see from the other side and understand.

I realize the best gift one can give especially to your spouse is the gift of forgiveness, living together is a challenge, and successful relationships are those, wherein there is not only love but also  forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a part of emotional and spiritual evolution.   When we fight off forgiveness we tend to lock ourselves in an emotional prison with the person we refuse to forgive.  Even holding on to simple anger and grudge will only hurt the one who is holding on to it.

When you forgive and move on, you are releasing yourself from negative holds of the past and freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness.

Today I make a choice to forgive everyday and renew my commitment to love, accept and forgive at all times.


September 23, 2010

Building your house

Here’s a thought provoking short story which I  have read before, but it continues to inspire me every time I read, may you be inspired and blessed.


An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go & asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career. 

When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked! 

What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. 

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we would do it much differently.

But, you cannot go back. You are the carpenter, and every day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Someone once said, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." 

Our attitude, and the choices we make today, help build the "house" we will live in tomorrow. Therefore, let us build wisely.

Be Happy !


September 21, 2010

A Little Candle

I came across this small poem by CB Dennison, which I felt is simple and sweet,
read on …



It takes no special talent,
Makes no difference
Who you are,
To light a little candle
That outshines
The brightest star.

It doesn’t call for sacrifice,
To provide a little light,
That might be the
Ray of hope
For someone
Through the night.

So light up your
Little candle
No matter how small
The flame,
You might just get the
Feeling that even you are the
Not the same

I am a little candle today! how about you ?

September 18, 2010

Deconditioning our Minds

All of us being born in this world are subject to conditioning; conditioning is a phenomenon of thinking. Every form of conditioning can be reversed, meaning to say that it can be changed by counter thinking.  Thinking and counter thinking are both well within the capacity of the mind.

I am happy to discover this aspect in my life. The gurus who taught me the vipassana meditation, used to always tell me, that it is very important to decondition our minds, and bring mind to a state of calmness, at that time I only understood it as being aware and observant.

When I started exploring in my own life, I understood, I too have conditioned my mind in so many ways, that it became very difficult for me to think anew, to take risk and to look for options beyond.  

One example that comes to my mind is the concept of money. I could not think of money beyond my regular salary, hence suffered from fixed income mentality, which made difficult for money to flow into my life freely. It also blocked me from trying and exploring for new options of earning money.

It bound me from within, made me a prisoner, dependent and always in need of money, when I analyzed this carefully, I realized, I needed to decondition my mind.

I started thinking in a new way and change my concept of money in my life, so I started working on my thoughts for that is the easiest thing to do, for thoughts create the power and influences our thinking in a whole new way. I am grateful to Louise Hay the author of the book, “You can Heal Your Life” who also shares about bringing in change by practicing mind conditioners, I had learnt a lot from her book.

I started telling my self that money is easiest thing that comes in my life, and I release the fixed income mentality, and money flows into my life freely, endless and copiously. I now use it for the good of myself and good of others. Things started changing in my life and money is always there for all my expenses.

Exercise

Take a comfortable position, and relax,
Let your whole body be in a relaxed position
Be aware of your breath; take a few deep breaths to be completely calm
Now repeat the following to yourself

  • I release the fixed income mentality
  • I am now open and receptive to new avenues of income in my life
  • I now receive my good from expected and unexpected sources
  • I am open and receptive to all the good and the abundance in the universe
 Keep doing this every day, and whenever you are free, this will definitely alter your thought patterns.

An important thing to remember is to never bring to your mind any form of negative thoughts on money as this will blocks the process of deconditioning. (Ex. Money is bad, money is evil, it is the root of all problems etc)

We can try this on any aspect of life, whether, health, peace, harmony, and create our own mind conditioners, and it works.

Be happy !
 

September 12, 2010

Life – is a Process of Becoming

Three months ago I purchased a cell phone, as I needed one, for me the purpose of the cell phone is very clear, I would like to be in touch with all those around me, and I use it only for communication, I do not really bother about all the features that are inbuilt, somehow it does not really fascinate me.

My daughter on the other hand is very curious and loves to handle anything she finds new, and I clearly instructed her that she must not be playing with my phone, last week I saw her exploring my cell, and she was so excited, to inform me that there is a provision in my cell to play games, to listen to music and also take photographs and make an album, and she explained to me, as to how to operate this small cell phone which had all these features.

I was angry first because she used my phone without asking me, but it was momentary, I refuse to react to my anger, but as I watched her excitement, my anger melted and I started smiling as I listened to the music in my own cell phone, that day I found out from my daughter all the features present in the cell phone.

While I was thinking my cell phone, a thought came to my mind, like the cell phone, each of us have so much in us– features that can lead us to greater heights, capacities that could empower us towards becoming who we were always meant to be, and the strength to handle so many situations, but we are unaware of all this, we need different kinds of persons in our lives to bring out the best in us.

Today I not only thank my daughter who taught me to explore the features in my own cell phone, but all those persons especially my family and  friends who have been kind to help me find myself, and still continue to do so, for which I am thankful and happy.

Be Happy!


September 10, 2010

Renewal in my life

Emmanuel my son has brought a renewal in my life. I say this because I had forgotten to sing and dance in my life. I used to be a very independent for too long and enjoying plenty of freedom, I enjoyed singing, and action songs, games and energizers, and also walking, meditating, and reading inspiring books. However, after marriage and the arrival of my daughter, things changed drastically for me, 

I had to learn to cope with lot of things in my life, and succeeded well in bringing in a balance to my life, of continuing my work, and also bringing up my kids in a joint family set up.  Over a period of time, with life getting tough - needed to manage career, family life, and kids - I found no time for singing, listening to music and reading and I required time to enjoy the company of myself and do all those things I loved.

I'm trying hard to raise up my kids, especially my son, who has frequent respiratory infections, cold, cough and  delayed speech. Amidst all this, he is a happy child, very much inclined to music and dance.

In order to respond to him, I've started singing and dancing again, and continue to do so as he  enjoys and  learns all the life skills with music and dance. Even if I have to brush his teeth, I sing, and while he wants to eat, play, learn, rest, everything is done by a song, dance and music. Singing, dancing and listening to music all the time, makes a lot of difference, and also keeps me happy and optimistic.




Now, music and dance has become a way of life in our family, and I owe it all to my son who brought in so much of positive energy, which energizes me and lifts me up with joy leading me to rejoice in small things and fills me with gratitude.

Be Happy!
            

September 7, 2010

Happy Birthday to my Darling Daughter

Today my heart is rejoicing as my daughter celebrates her 9th birthday, I recall with gratitude the last 8 years that was filled with so much love, laughter and fun.  I also thank God and all those wonderful persons in my life who accompanied me in my journey into motherhood, and continue to remain a great source of strength to me. Here’s  a small note for my lovely daughter.

My Darling Daughter Maria Dorothy,

I am so happy to have you in my life, truly you are God’s gift to me, and you will always remain my first miracle of life that I held in my arms, even though, some times, your brother takes more attention from me, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Forgive me for the times, I have unconsciously given a little more of my time to your brother who has special needs.

On your birthday, I want you to know how special you are to me, and indeed the most beautiful, lovable and adorable person in my life, I want to wish you a very happy, joyous, and a meaningful birthday to you. May the Lord bless you, guard and guide you al l through your life.

With lots and lots of love and kisses from your mom,



“A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous...full of beauty and forever beautiful...loving and caring and truly amazing. “  Deanna Beisser

September 4, 2010

God Made Teachers

5 September is Celebrated as Teachers Day, while I was thinking about this day, so many thoughts came to my mind, I remembered all my teachers in school and college, and also so many persons in my life who have taught me, on account of which I am able to live a life of gratitude, I want to thank all of them in my life, for touching my life, showing me the way by example and being gentle and kind with me, to all you teachers here's a small poem for you:



God understood our thirst for 
Knowledge, And Our Need To Be Led
By someone wiser;
He needed a heart of compassion,
Of encouragement, and patience;
Someone who would accept
The Challenge Regardless Of The
Opposition;
Someone who could see potential
And believe in the best in others . . .
So he made teachers

- Author Unknown


To all my friends who are teachers and all those I do not know, but making a difference in the lives of students, a very happy Teachers Day to you, may you continue to inspire and help students to discover themselves.


September 1, 2010

Stress Busters in my life


This week I had an opportunity to talk to young college students who are pursuing their degree; the topic given to me was stress management.  I was thinking about this topic for long, and there is so much material available on the internet on this topic, after a deep thinking, I decided to will share my own experiences in management of stress in my life.

So I started preparing for this topic, with the existing situation at home, and so many things to handle, I did find it difficult, but with determination, I decided to take up this session..

While  looking at what was the current situation in my life, my husband is at home with a fractured knee, completely on bed rest, my son Emmanuel has fever due to change in the weather and  requires to be monitored, my sister-in-law has come home in seventh month pregnancy as this is her first delivery, my daughter is having cold and cough  and I have an elderly mother in law who is helping me out to handle the home front, added to all this I have also been able to take up sessions and write my blog.  All this I am able to do because there is a sense of balance in my life.  I am happy that I have learnt very early in life some of the very important lessons for balance in life and prevention of burn out.

Some of the stress busters that helps me are:

Faith
I have tremendous faith in God, and I ensure that I spend quiet time in prayer everyday, which makes me feel strong and confident.

Positive Mental Attitude
PMA is something that I have acquired from reading a lot of books, especially Norman Vincent Peale’s .

Being Grateful
I found ways to be grateful – I would list down people whom I should thank, send e cards, sms, even a small little help will trigger in me a very high sense of gratitude, and makes me happy to appreciate people around me, and it also keeps my energy level  high.

Walking
I developed the habit of walking, which was a need at one point of time in my life, but I realized the benefits of it, and continued to keep up this habit, and walk when ever I want to – sometimes even stop my bike at any park on my way back home and start walking.

Listening
I begin my day with spiritual songs, which are very assuring and comforting, both the times early morning and late evening, to keep me optimistic.

Meditation
I spend time in meditation. Enjoy this time, which has contributed to large extent stillness in mind and a balance in my life.

Practicing Mind Conditioners
Whenever I am alone, or waiting for something, I use it to practice mind conditioners, either by reciting it in my heart or if there is enough space even write it in a book.

Reading Inspiring books/articles/stories
I take every opportunity that I get to read books, articles, stories that inspire me, challenge and empower me to be passionate in life.

Sharing my true feelings with a friend
I love to be in touch with my friends, especially those with whom I can share my feelings, and with who I can be myself, for me relationships are very important, and I have grown because of them.

Being Kind
Reaching out to someone in kindness, no matter who they are, I try to do one act of kindness in a day.


These are some tips for staying strong and carrying on with gratitude .......


Be Happy!




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